Government’s goon show draws ire of TD frustrated with Dáil questions

THE chins of the political scribes were slumped on their chests when a magical sentence jolted them back into semi-consciousness.

“The crowd of goons on the Government benches might think it very funny,” Bernard Durkan intoned in his stentorian tones, “but this is an abuse of the parliamentary system.”

What had we missed? Noel Dempsey doing his Spike Milligan imitations? Dermot Ahern regaling us with his Peter Sellars routines? Sadly, no. Mr Durkan was just making one of his generic assaults on government.

The British Goons show was a satirical radio programme that ran from 1951 to 1960. It was very funny. The Irish Goons show is a talking shop that began in 1919 and is still running. It is not very funny.

Mr Durkan’s beef was about parliamentary questions (PQ). In the good old days, if a TD wanted to find out about how long Joe Bloggs would have to wait for an artificial hip, he or she would submit a PQ to the Minister for Health. A short time later, the minister would supply a written reply.

But all that has changed since the Health Services Executive (HSE) has been set up. Now what happens is that the TD submits the same PQ. And then, says Mr Durkan, the question is referred by Health to the HSE. Somewhere along the way it is swallowed up by a vast black hole of bureaucracy and disappears forever.

Mr Durkan’s indignation was met with sniggers from Government benches, which prompted his “goons” remark. For his trouble, he got lashed with snide remarks from Noel Dempsey and Dermot Ahern.

The goons guffawed. But the issue is a serious one. And the opposition vented their frustration about this sorry scenario. Sinn Féin’s Caoimhghín Ó Caoláin claimed that in excess of 45% of PQs put down to the minister are “kicked to touch by being referred to the HSE for long-delayed responses”.

And Labour’s Liz McManus went further: “I have tabled questions (on various health matters)... All we get is a referral from the minister. Approximately one month later we receive an interim reply from the HSE. It is like the third secret of Fatima.”

Ms Harney is no soft touch. It is said the best way of getting a story maximum exposure is to tell a politician a secret. But not Ms Harney. With her poker face and minimalist responses, it’s a case of don’t worry, HSE, your secret is safe with me.

She responded with: “Operational issues, such as some of the issues to which the Deputy referred, are matters for the Health Service Executive and are handled all the time by the executive.”

But her granite-hardness came to the fore when Jerry Cowley asked her a question that could also be construed as a personal slight. A recent profile of US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice revealed she rises at 4.30am to work out in the gym.

The clever-dick TD from Mayo asked her, in the light of that, to consider “doing her pilates and whatever other exercise she does as a good example to the Irish people. As Minister for Health it would be very much in her line”.

The Tánaiste: “I will get back to the Deputy on the matter.”