Keano takes decorum out of forum

JUST when we thought we had heard the last of it, the Roy and Mick row could soon take centre-stage once more.

Arthur Mathews, best known for co-writing "Father Ted", has collaborated with an old college friend to script a musical about the infamous Saipan saga.

"Macartacus! (... And Keano)" is scheduled to be premiered in Dublin in the autumn, according to reports yesterday.

Manchester United star Keane has only just returned to the Irish national squad after a two-year absence caused by a blazing row with the then-manager McCarthy immediately prior to the 2002 World Cup finals in Korea and Japan.

His withdrawal from the World Cup sparked a heated national debate that raged for months.

Keane's return in May was supposed to have put an end, once and for all, to the hullabaloo.

But first there was The Langer Song which has been riding high in the charts. The anthem, by musician Tim O Riordan and the band Natural Gas, dedicated a verse to taking a pop at McCarthy in the best colloquial Cork fashion. And now comes the musical.

Written by Mathews with long-time friend and author Mick Nugent, "Macartacus! (... And Keano)" will transport the pair's duel to ancient Rome, with both portrayed as soldiers of the empire who fall out while on a mission abroad.

A case of "Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit," perhaps, as those Roman soldiers were fond of saying about some of their superiors "There has not been any great talent without an element of madness."

The score has been written by Paul Wonderful, well-known to Irish music fans for his role as Bono impersonator in U2 cover band, The Joshua Trio.

Only can only wonder, however, how the writers will manage to convey what the Guardian newspaper famously described as Keane's "tenuous grasp of anatomy".

In the middle of the row with McCarthy in Saipan, the Corkman reportedly said: "The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are the manager of my country, and you're not even Irish, you English c**t. You can stick it up your b*ll*x."

Not very musical-sounding, that one.