When going is good ministers get going

AND they’re off ... obviously not to Dáil Éireann but to Cheltenham for the real business of government.

The few TDs who did choose the national parliament over the national hunt festival yawned their way through a heavy going meeting at the Leinster House racecourse yesterday.

Plenty of horsing around though for Minister for Betting Charlie McCreevy and his junior minister at the Office for Stallion Works, Tom Parlon, along with Minister for Racing John O’Donoghue and Minister for Equineculture Joe Walsh, who all headed to the Cotswolds rather than to work.

No sign either in the chamber yesterday of birthday girl, Mary Harney, but rather than being stuck down in Paddy Powers, the Tánaiste was actually on the job and then celebrating after turning 50 yesterday.

Also bound for the horseracing mecca is Flying Minister Jim McDaid, who kindly turned up in the Dáil to back up his Transport Minister Seamie ‘The Jockey’ Brennan.

But strangely Flying Jim wasn’t wearing his trademark waistcoat, leading many to wonder if he had lost it in the bookies with the shirt off

his back to follow today. And speaking of sartorial elegance, John Bruton showed up in a cream linen suit, more suitable for going on safari than to the races.

Out of the gates fast was Blue Boy, owned and trained by Michael Ring, and ridden by Enda Kenny.

Showing good form in the Freedom of Information stakes, Blue Boy went for an early morning gallop But when he tried to bring the subject up under the national archives, chief steward Rory O’Hanlon hauled him up for straying off the course.

Back on track, Blue Boy said the departure of the cabinet coterie to the races smacked of arrogance.

Cantering along, Left Wing Lad, the mount of Pat Rabbitte, trained by Fergus Finlay and owned by the stickies, suggested the FF-PD Programme for Government could be referred to the National Archives already.

“Clearly it is a document of purely historical interest now,” he said.

Taking the whip out, Left Wing Lad suggested the cavorting ministers should be called back to do their jobs properly rather than passing the responsibility to their juniors.

Instead of toughing it out, he suggested the wanderers had left behind a couple of regular non-runners to look after their business.

Sitting on the fence rather than jumping it, Drumcondra Dodger, ridden by Bertie Ahern, owned by the Fagan’s Pub syndicate and trained by Celia Larkin, was remaining a dark horse.

Stumbling on the soft ground, the Dodger said the FOI had only undergone a couple of technical changes.

Coming up on the stand side, Socialist Sweetener, with Joe Higgins in the saddle, trained by Leon Trostsky and owned by the people, said the Drumcondra Dodger was wearing blinkers to block out the realities of the world and was failing to make the running.

With any luck, today’s second day of the festival of fun will be cancelled.