I, Keano and the battle with Macartacus

SOME sentiments lend themselves to music more sweetly than others.

Take a couple of differing views on the subject of being from England, for instance.

“For he himself has said it, and it’s greatly to his credit, that he is an Englishman.” So sang the crew of HMS Pinafore in Gilbert and Sullivan’s famous opera of the same name.

“The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are the manager of my country, and you’re not even Irish, you English c**t. You can stick it up your b****x.”

So said Roy Keane - allegedly - to Mick McCarthy at the Irish national squad’s training camp on the island of Saipan prior to the 2002 World Cup finals.

Somehow, one can’t imagine the latter sentiment ever making its way into song.

But the story of Saipan is about to be sung on stage, albeit in slightly fictionalised form.

I, Keano will depict the boy Roy as the greatest warrior of an “ancient federation” which sends a legion to an island to prepare for battle.

But instead, Keano finds casus belli to clash with Macartacus, the legion’s stubborn general, and a battle of a different kind erupts. No prizes for guessing who Macartacus is meant to resemble.

I, Keano is described as a “musical epic”, and while most Irish people eventually grew sick of hearing about Saipan, there’s sure to be lots of interest come the production’s opening night at the Olympia Theatre in Dublin on February 8, given the pedigree of those involved.

Among them is the man responsible for another argument between Keane and McCarthy.

Mario Rosenstock is the actor and writer behind the hugely popular Gift Grub sketches on Today FM.

In one of those sketches, Roy and Mick famously failed to see eye to eye over the merits, or otherwise, of ‘80s pop band Kajagoogoo (for the record, Roy was a devoted fan; Mick thought they were crap).

Rosenstock will join a cast including Risteard Cooper and Gary Cooke of the Apres Match team, themselves rather fond of impersonating famous figures from the world of football.

Add in the talents of Father Ted co-writer Arthur Mathews, Absurdly Yours author Michael Nugent, and director Peter Sheridan, and ticket sales are sure to be brisk.

The people of Cork, though, who remained staunchly loyal to Keane throughout thick and thin, might have a suggestion to make about the name of the musical, which is presumably a skit on Robert Graves’ famous book, I, Claudius.

Graves wrote a sequel, entitled Claudius the God.

Keano the God, the people of his native city would most likely argue, would surely be a much more apt title.