Go hatch a plan to buy the new Opel Astra
But I had a degree of sympathy for Opel when the curtain came down on the show, albeit temporarily until Chris Evans puts down his toothbrush and puts on his driving gloves.
Its Astra had barely been driven in the ‘Star in a Reasonably Priced Car’ section before it found itself with not even a Z-list celebrity to pilot it round Gambon (a corner named after actor Michael Gambon).
The Astra was used just 24 times before the plug was pulled — just cut off in its prime when vastly inferior predecessors such as the Suzuki Liana (65 turns) and Chevrolet Lacetti (56) had long careers as sub-two minute limousines to the celebs. To add insult to injury, the Astra was forced into early retirement with the ignominy of Essex-boy Olly Murs settings its fastest time.
It was a real shame, because the new-look Astra was a car worthy of as much air-time as could be afforded to it and with a far better quality of singer.
Well, as you will see from the accompanying pictures that new-look can now be classed as old.
Last week, in its bumpf for the press launch (stored on a slim USB in the end of a pen — very cool James Bond-like touch) of the new, new Astra in Vienna (SEPT 29), Opel listed its competitors in the compact market. The usual suspects were there — Focus, Golf, Cee’d, etc.
However, down the end of the list were the triumvirate of German premium marks: BMW, Audi, and Mercedes.
The tone of the commentary in the aforementioned bumpf and the presentations from the Opel boffins during the launch gave the distinct impression they see their 11th-generation compact as more than capable of competing with the likes of the 1-series, A3, and A-Class.
And, in fairness, the new car does have a lot of characteristics that would justify its lofty aspirations.
Opel has put its compact bestseller on a strict diet before sending it out in a slinky new dress with a whole host of new jewellery. And the diet has not just seen it shed a few kilogrammes.
Opel’s intended October 31 dealer launch of the new Astra in Ireland has been postponed by a week as it clashed with the Rugby World Cup final. To stick with the rugby theme, the up to 200kg weight loss means the Astra is no longer travelling around with the equivalent of two back row forwards in the back seat.
And just labouring the rugby analogies for a little longer, the full front row could be squeezed into the back. The latest model is actually 50mm shorter and 5mm narrower than in its predecessor and 25mm has been knocked off its height. But in the cabin, there is 35mm more leg room and 22mm more headroom for the driver.
Along with newly designed, ergonomic seats, it really was a comfortable and airy place to be munching the miles on a circuitous route from Vienna to Bratislava.
Opel admits it fielded criticism from customers who felt it had too many buttons and too confusing a layout. It has sought to remedy that by cutting down on the number of switches and grouping those that remain into more workable configurations.
While the Astra’s new IntelliLink infotainment system is not available in the base S models which start at €19,995, it comes in at the SC level (which starts at €21,495).
The colour touchscreen, which ranges from 7in-8in, gives the user access to their smartphone via Apple CarPlay and Android Auto.
The Astra’s technology is relatively simple to navigate even for the most reluctant technophobe (though I still managed to add 50km to the required media route by misreading the satnav).
If you are willing to buy even further up the range, the Sri (€24,495) and Elite (€25,995) specs boast the Opel OnStar system, described by the manufacturer as the driver’s “personal connectivity and service assistant”.
It can provide vehicle diagnostics, destination downloads and roadside assistance among a myriad of services though drivers in Ireland will have to wait until next year to get the high speed wifi connection for up to seven devices. Also at the higher levels, the buyer gets a driver assistance pack that includes the likes of lane departure warning with lane assist (“Steer towards the line, Stefan, steer towards the line!” shouted the excited Opel boffin I was carrying at one point), traffic sign recognition, following distance indicator and forward collision alert with “autonomous” emergency braking.
On the outside, the Astra has undergone a complete makeover. The front is much lower, there are more sculpted lines and the rear puts me in mind of the Alfa Romeo Giulietta.
It is certainly one of the prettiest of the compact class. Though like most compact family hatchbacks, the look of its pert bottom after its strenuous diet is going to have be besmirched with an open tailgate if you want to transport an average size chest of drawers home.
Furthermore the Astra is positively glowing after its transformation. Opel has installed LED matrix lights which bathe even the darkest roads and surrounds to near daylight proportions, all without blinding other cars in its path.
The households on the street-light free Slovakian road on which dozens of journalists tested this in convoy last week must have thought they were caught up in something from the Twilight Zone as their houses suddenly lit up like Christmas.
To match its athletic new body, Opel has developed a range of new engines to ensure the latest Astra feels beautiful within. They have managed to extract a decent level of grunt for their efforts.
The tiny 1-litre direct injection turbo petrol may be capable of using only 4.2l per 100km, putting in the A2 tax band of €180, but it still manages to punch out 105 horsepower and hit a max speed of 200km/h.
That said, I (and, I’m sure, my fellow test driver) did have a bit of a squeaky bum moment when I dropped it down to second gear and pulled out to overtake a van, only to find that even with my foot buried into the carpet, my heart was speeding up faster than the car as the approaching traffic got closer and closer.
Sadly the 1.6 turbo, which boasts 200hp and has a top speed of 235km/h, is not destined for these shores so speed-fiends will have to make dow with the 1.4 turbo which can reach 215km/h.
If fuel efficiency is more important than top-end speed though, the 1.6 CDTI 110hp version sips on just 3.4 litres/100km.
All in all then, the new Astra is a brilliant family hatch — but I’m worried. On the hour-long bus journey across Dublin from the airport to Heuston Station after the press trip, I scanned the traffic for the old, new Astra. I barely saw any. They just don’t seem to be out there to anywhere near the levels they deserve to be.
Could it be that incarnation was hiding its light under too plain a bushel? And if that is the case, what if, after all her dieting and cosmetic surgery, the public decide that she is still a plain Jane?
I really hope not… the new Astra deserves to be taken out and shown a good time.
