This nightmare at the Theatre of Dreams was no more than Manchester United deserved, not least for their cautious approach against unfancied Seville, who march into the quarter-finals of the Champions League at their expense.

Of all the fresh faces in the Ireland U21s squad for Saturday’s Euro qualification opener, Manchester United’s Kieran O’Hara has had the biggest crash-course of late.

The Irish Examiner, or so I’m told, is a hotbed of Manchester United, Liverpool, and Arsenal support, so getting a Tottenham voice in here is a bit of a result.

If the Premier League were Monopoly, Arsenal played their ‘Get out of jail free’ card at Old Trafford on Saturday.

Michael Carrick still has a role at the Theatre of Dreams, and four other talking points...

Zlatan Ibrahimovic was quick to pick up the ball for last night's spot-kick against Southampton.

Manchester United 2 Southampton 0: Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored twice as Jose Mourinho kicked off life at Old Trafford with a comfortable Friday night victory over Southampton.

Sunderland 2 Man Utd 1: John O’Shea didn’t need to give an answer, the question he was posed said it all about United’s continuing woes.

Louis Van Gaal has hailed Wayne Rooney’s dressing room blast at his Manchester United team-mates and says it reminded him of the rant that led to one of his most coveted managerial moments.

Louis van Gaal has hit back at his critics again, reminding them that Old Trafford “was not always the Theatre of Dreams.” United topped the table at the end of September, but their form has dipped of late.

FA Cup Fourth Round

DUBIOUS of what I see as a multi-million-euro plc organisation intent on squeezing every last drop of revenue from its fans in order to pay their players’ grossly over-inflated salaries, it took me a very long time to come around to even considering the idea of helping my 12-year-old son realise his long-held fantasy of going to Old Trafford and watching Manchester United play.

Jose Mourinho’s chances of becoming Manchester United manager one day have undoubtedly increased following the way he conducted himself during Real Madrid’s Champions League victory over the English giants this week; but the match at Old Trafford proved even more conclusively that he isn’t needed just yet.

Thanks to the Champions League draw, we now know the ghost of Christmas past will be returning to the Theatre of Dreams in 2013 in the form of old boy wonder Ronaldo.

It’s not often you hear an Airtricity League manager likening an upcoming fixture to a trip to Old Trafford, but then new Shamrock Rovers boss Brian Laws is the first man to manage in the League of Ireland having previously managed in the Premier League.

FOLLOWING a 6-1 victory over Manchester United and an average of four goals a game in recent weeks the comparisons between Manchester City and Barcelona, which seemed so frivolous at the start of the season, are now beginning to appear rather more justified; so could this be City’s year not only at home but also in Europe?

ONCE the universal acclaim for Darron Gibson’s thrilling strike against Wales had died down, the nagging doubts tended to resurface.

WITH the Premier League season just around the corner, cash-strapped fans can avail ofrecession-busting buses to see their heroes in action.

OLD TRAFFORD has staged some memorable title parties in recent years.

ALEX FERGUSON has defended Nani rigorously this season but even his patience will have been tested by the Portugal international’s dismissal at Villa Park that ultimately cost Manchester United the chance of toppling league leaders Chelsea last night.

Man Utd 0 Arsenal 0

WAYNE ROONEY was not at Manchester United in 2002 – but he has heard the song often enough to make sure he intends tomorrow to be payback time for Arsenal.

FOR all their grandiose ideas, Wayne Rooney has left Man City in no doubt who the current number ones are.

FLU-RIDDEN and with a scarf around his neck, Jose Mourinho was still in a mischievous mood as he held court at Old Trafford ahead of Inter Milan's attempts to eliminate European champions Manchester United from the Champions League tonight.

PAUL SCHOLES does not expect Alex Ferguson to perform an “Old Trafford charge” if Manchester United overcome Inter Milan in the Champions League tomorrow.

Manchester United new boy Anderson is happy to push his Christmas turkey to one side in the pursuit of Premier League points at Sunderland on St Stephen's Day.

Manchester United equalled a 100-year-old scoring record as they stormed to the Premier League summit with a clinical win over Middlesbrough.

Owen Hargreaves was handed only his fourth Manchester United start as the Red Devils looked to reach the Barclays Premier League summit by beating Middlesbrough at Old Trafford.

Alex Ferguson hands Louis Saha his first start since February as Manchester United square up to AS Roma once more in the Champions League at Old Trafford tonight.

SUNDERLAND is a deceptive place.

WHEW! Say what you like, but the patrons certainly don’t lack for entertainment and drama at the Theatre of Dreams.

Gary Neville is hoping Manchester United can persuade Henrik Larsson to remain at Old Trafford for the remainder of the season.

Manchester United shrugged sorry Newcastle aside at Old Trafford, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer netting twice as the Red Devils romped back to the Barclays Premiership summit.

Manchester United 1 Tottenham 0

DAVID BECKHAM could be heading back to Manchester United, for a pre-season friendly.

David Beckham could be heading back to Manchester United – for a mouth-watering pre-season friendly.

IN relaxed and reflective mood, Roy Keane was generous with his media time in the aftermath of Tuesday night’s memorable testimonial at Old Trafford.

Manchester United 1 Celtic 0

Roy Keane will make one final appearance for Manchester United at Old Trafford tomorrow with Ryan Giggs admitting the Irishman’s leadership qualities set him apart from anyone he has ever played with.

Manchester United have hit their fans with a 12.3% average rise in season ticket prices for next season.

Manchester United are set to fall just short of recording the Premiership’s first 70,000 gate.

WEMBLEY officials are adamant the new £757m stadium will be the ‘greatest in the world’ - when it is eventually opened.

Manchester United have denied having a mouse problem at Old Trafford.