Over the past year, sports headlines have focused as much on inspirational championship glories as shameful transgressions on and off the field of play.

Lohan, one of the many over-cloned teenage queens who have over-run Hollywood, is a Manhattan citizen with ambitions of becoming an actress, whose mother (Headly) takes her to live, horror of horrors, in a small and very dull town in New Jersey.

Elton John has failed in a second bid to recover £14m (€21m) in touring costs he believes he should never have paid.