Five minutes into yesterday’s disastrous derby day opener, I turned to my mate to say that I wished I’d had a five quid punt on the Irons, as I heard the radio commentators expressing their surprise at the outrageous odds (in a two-horse race) of 14/1. 

The only good thing about my increasingly decrepit memory is that I was thoroughly oblivious to the fact that, until Saturday, the Gunners had lost our last four finals playing in yellow. 

I was still feeling so devastated following our midweek debacle against Monaco that I was left struggling to muster sufficient enthusiasm to wander around to our encounter with Everton.

Arsenal 4 Newcastle 1

Arsene Wenger will still talk animatedly about almost any subject, but he has definitely grown more guarded and reserved, sometimes tetchy, in recent seasons, believes the man who once wrote his column for the club magazine.

SO here we Gooners are again, the uninvited guests with our noses enviously pressed up against the pub’s frosted windows, missing out on all the jollity of yet another end of season lock-in.

NO, you weren’t hallucinating. That was Tony Pulis complimenting Liverpool on their “grarrrrft” – and it wasn’t even the most depressing moment of the week.