It’s a plotline even Hollywood executives would have struggled to write: Glamourpuss Alexis Carrington arrested in a dramatic plot twist involving an anti-water charges protest in Dublin.

It’s all well and good for the rest of us but basketballers such as Dubliner Hannah Thornton must view ‘March Madness’ with a fair degree of dread.

MUM Natasha Wallace was in despair yesterday as her six-year-old son Colby broke down in tears and told her: “Santa won’t be able to find me.”