I CAN’T remember who exactly first came up with the name “Theatre Of Dreams” for Old Trafford but one has to assume it was some kind of silly tabloid hack or cretinous PR git.

SO much for the effects on Chelsea of their unscheduled alarm call in the early hours of Sunday morning; by half-five in the afternoon, their stamina and energy were in danger of making our puffing lads look as crimson and decrepit as our manager’s nose.