I had one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life in Uganda

Jamie Ball takes a trip to western Uganda where he lands a front row seat at a gorilla showdown in the wilds of Bwindi Impenetrable Forest

A gorilla at Bwindi Impenetrable Forest

“Finally, please tuck your pants inside your socks,” our rifle-clad guide advises, as we descend into the Kyambura Gorge in western Uganda. It’s a deep, 11km-long cutting, a sunken streak of tropical rainforest etched through tree-dotted grasslands to either side. Exactly how this will deter the smattering of hippo, elephant and buffalo on the valley floor —ignoring the fresh lion tracks we gauge hiking down the winding path – I am not quite sure.

“Because, if not,” she continues, “the ants will invade your legs, I tell you, up until they attack central government.” 

Not 40 minutes later, we may have done just that to a community of 18 mesmerising chimpanzees – from infants to the old – as they follow their power-strutting Alpha Male past us. What spellbinding, glorious creatures these are.

In time, they ascend the trees about us in choreography fit for a Planet of the Apes trailer, before “vocalising” overhead, louder than a platoon of irate Healy-Raes in the Dáil. The multitude of mutinous hippos return acoustic fire from the river pool not 15 metres beside us: Welcome to the jungle, Sapiens. Naturally, I get a fit of the giggles. It’s great to be back in Africa.

In the ‘50’s and ‘60s, Uganda was Safari Central

It’s little known now but in the ‘50’s and ‘60s, Uganda was Safari Central. Then from the late ‘60s until the mid-‘80s, the Milton Obote-Idi Amin Tag Team Killing Machine ravaged the nation.

But it wasn’t until the ‘90s before safari operators returned, with one of the first being Wildplaces Africa.

They’ve worked hand-in-glove with the Ugandan Wildlife Authority ever since, helping to crack down on poaching, and can now boast of seven luxury safari lodges and camps about the country.

Uganda offers, arguably, the most diverse safari experience on the planet, but why? Well, it packs in over 330 mammal species (including the tick-the-box ‘Big 5’, as well as 20 fascinating primate species), and over 1000 bird species. In fact, it would bring out the birder in anyone: the sheer variety and vivacity, grace and eccentricities of these avians are like nothing I’ve ever encountered in numerous other safaris across several nations.

As for geography, Uganda sports one of the most powerful waterfalls in Africa (Murchison Falls), with the continent’s largest river (the Nile) cutting straight through the country. It’s centred within the Great Lakes Region, even shoring Africa’s largest lake (Lake Victoria), while along its western flank are the 5,000m-high Rwenzori Mountains; some of the highest peaks in Africa. Thus, safari offerings cover habitats from savannah grassland to acacia woodlands, and from tropical lowland rainforest to Afromontane forest.

Yet as massively diverse as the safari experience proves to be, it’s nowhere near as diverse as the emblazoned names of Ugandan matatus (minibus taxis), with bold affirmations on windscreens reading ‘Death Zone’, ‘Team No Sleep,’ ‘Crash Magnet’, and even ‘I love you Mummy.’

Within the wider Murchison Falls National Park, Wildplaces’ Papa’s Bush Camp is located within a 400 sq. km protected Low Impact Zone, meaning we have the wilds to ourselves. The Camp is named after that Genghis Khan of 20th century literature, Ernest ‘Papa’ Hemmingway. Just down river in 1954, he and his wife had the distinction of being in two plane crashes in two days. You’ve really got to love Africa: the True Continent of Firsts.

A tent at Papa's Camp

This luxurious six bedroomed tented bush camp is set on the banks of the 200m-wide thrumming Nile. We go on a walking safari upriver, where poachers formerly snared, then speared to death, everything, from giraffe and elephant to lion and buffalo, caught in their snare. Wonderfully, the last poaching gang here was only caught because they were doing their laundry in the river.

Late afternoon has us fishing for Nile perch, as I sip a Nile beer, while a raft of big-headed hippos stare at us from the depths, just out of casting distance. As our armed ranger keeps watch for Nile crocodiles, I land a lump of a catfish instead.

But it’s the ten-strong-and-growing pride of lion near the camp, with a further 30-something lion in the wider zone, that wins the day. We get close enough to observe their every whim and fancy, revisiting each morning and evening until we are all on first-name terms. A

n hour or so further south, Murchison Falls spews out. Here the Nile, in all her full-bodied vigour, tries squeezing through a 7 metre-wide gap, insisting the dress still fits her. The resulting power, and pure raging menace is like a Liquid Lucifer, torrenting towards Egypt beneath a spectral rainbow. The most remarkable, the most Ugandan thing of it all? I am the only tourist in sight.

A pool with a view at The River Station

Some 300km south of Murchison Falls is Wildplaces’ River Station Lodge. It’s within Kyambura Wildlife Reserve, home of our Kyambura Gorge chimp-haven. The lodge is on the banks of the choc-a-croc Kazinga Channel, a wide, 32-km-long natural water channel with the towering Rwenzori Mountains shimmering out west.

This lodge, positioned where mammals can easily access the channel, also overlooks a small inland lake, meaning we effectively have 270 degree views of a litany of spectacular wildlife. So commanding are the sights from the lodge, it makes you question the value of going out on safari, when you can just sit back and order another Kakira gin and tonic and peruse legions of elephant and buffalo and hippo and mighty Nile crocodiles.

Then there’s wandering warthogs (projecting like they’re late for a hair appointment, only can’t remember where) and their loner uncles – the Giant Forest Hog. There’s also the waterbuck, the Ugandan kob, the baboon and colobus monkey but it’s the petulant hippos I will never forgive, squabbling all night, like overgrown adolescents fighting over the remote control.

Buffalo at River Station

We journey further south, towards Rwanda, through the fertile, maroon soils of the Volcanic Highlands. Here a riot of banana, maize, tea, coffee, onions, cotton and cassava cloak the steeply rolling hillsides; hillsides famed for their ‘Irish potatoes’ (as opposed to sweet potatoes).

I’m here for the delectable, 2000m-high Clouds Lodge and the Bwindi Impenetrable Forest. When the mists clear, they reveal an identity parade of stunning volcanoes. Nightfall sees the red lava smoke of Nyamuragira volcano visible through my chalet window, more than 60km off in the Congo, smouldering worse than Colonel Kurtz.

Views from Clouds Lodge

Gorilla Day finally arrives; one I’ve wished for since I was fresh out of nappies. Time to find my tribe. There are just over one thousand Mountain Gorilla left in the wild, a welcome increase in recent decades. They’re only located near where the Ugandan, Rwandan and Congolese borders meet, with more than 400 living here in Uganda’s Bwindi Impenetrable Forest, which sounds, as marketing slogans go, about as inviting as ‘Trespassers will be shot.’

We descend – yes, downhill – into the forest (‘impenetrable’ my ass) along with porters and armed rangers, with a further two trackers having been out since daybreak. Within an hour, I am standing – masked mouth agape – among a family of 15 glorious gorillas from the incongruously named Posho family. Rather than clad in velvet smoking jackets and silk cravats, they wander around us within touching distance, completely naked.

I feel overawed at the sheer majesty, the proximity, the higher human essence of their company. Not only do I forget I am among animals, so does my phone camera as it autofocuses upon their facial features. After a half-hour of them amicably perusing and grazing the forest floor, all hell lets loose.

A gorilla at Bwindi Impeetrable Forest

The neighbouring Christmas family have encroached on the Posho’s territory and all troops — even mothers and infants — charge to the battlefront, with us in tow. While there’s plenty of screaming and chest-thumping, teeth-bared charges and flaying arms, there is mercifully little bloodshed. After 15 or so minutes — enough for my knees to stop shaking — the fracas settles into a very tense, eyeballing stand-off, until the Poshos eventually win out.

We are preposterously, insanely lucky and it marks one of the most exhilarating, touching experiences of my life. Such conflict happens maybe once or twice a year at most, we’re told, and never ever in the one hour a day that visitors to Bwindi are permitted to be there.

Well, either that or the trackers had bribed them to put on the whole show for us. Regardless, just like Uganda itself, it’s a show I will be forever the richer for.

Is Uganda for you?

For the uninitiated African traveller, factor in that multiple vaccinations (e.g. from tmb.ie) will be required, and consult your GP about malaria tablets. Be aware that outbreaks of Ebola are not unknown to Uganda, including earlier this year when I visited, but they tend to be rapidly and tightly contained, and outside of tourist areas.

Most controversially, homosexual activity is now illegal in Uganda, with severe punishments if convicted.

Members of the LGBTQ+ community are advised to act with extreme discretion at all times, as there is also a low social tolerance of homosexuality.

Currently, Irish citizens are visa-exempt for Uganda and will receive a (no charge) entry stamp on arrival. Lastly, routinely check the Department of Foreign Affairs’ advice on Uganda before and during your stay. Factoring all of the above in, however, is Uganda still worth it? Absolutely.

Escape Notes

A gorilla near Clouds Lodge at Bwindi Impeetrable Forest

Wild Places offers a full-board, seven-night safari package from €7,612 or 11-nights from €9,022. Prices are per person sharing. wildplacesafrica.com or enquire through Adams & Butler adamsandbutler.com

Qatar Airways fly from Dublin to Entebbe return, from €882. qatarairways.com

Jamie was a guest of Wildplaces Africa and Qatar Airways.