Savour a taste of the swish lifestyle

LIKE life, there are certain rules of conduct when skiing.

Unlike life, Val d’Isere kindly writes them down for you, so you don’t make an idiot of yourself. Or kill yourself. Or anyone else.

Essential titbits like: “The higher slope-user is in a position to chose a trajectory” and more importantly for Clutzy McClutzington here: “Any person causing or witnessing an accident should offer assistance. He must assist the ski patrol if requested.”

I won’t lie. I was nervous about my first ski trip. I have a history of falling off high things. Like cliffs. So self-preservation, a back injury from my last cliff encounter and the lack of anyone fool enough to accompany me meant I was hitting The Alps a ski virgin. But, hey, there’s a patrol, people, I feel better already.

If I’m going to risk possible death, I reasoned, I might as well do it in style. Chalet Morelle (below) was our base camp, 1,950m up in the hamlet of Le Fornet. It really was the biz. Very close to the cable car, 5-star menus cooked by Matt — he was amazing — cosy throws, roaring log fires, free-flowing wine and beer, it was perfect. There was Amy, the chalet host too, so you don’t have to lift a finger. The view from my balcony was all soft-focus, gleaming white mounds of puff powder snow, glistening icicles hanging from the eaves. Every time I peeked out I expected a fella all in black to swish up, throw a box of chocolates at me and purr: “Because the lady loves Milk Tray.” But I had a giant Galaxy bar, so screw you, imaginary ski dude.

But real ski dudes are plentiful in this land of wonder. I reported for my first ski lesson at the Oakley slope meeting point, giant boots, furry hat, gloves, jacket and pants all padded up like the Michelin man’s younger, clumsier sister.

Pierre Benoit Leidinger is my first instructor from the Evolution ski school. And honestly, I do feel I evolved during our time together. I had to watch him ski backwards — a lot. Not the worst view, and I didn’t fall once and he told me I was très bien for a first-timer.

So I’m snowplowing like a pro by the end of the day. That is a real ski term, by the way, not some dirty double entendre. Shame on you.

Pierre was strangely unavailable for the next couple of days so Joe Harkess from TDC ski school took over. Joe had a mad moustache and lots of stories about people getting injured but thankfully I was not one of them. He had me skiing down a sizeable ole slope by day two, swooping like a bird, so I was. He even got me to go on the ski lift, which was HIGH. He also filled me in on the resort’s impressive pedigree, having hosted Olympic and World Cup competitions.

There was one hairy-scary day when we had a complete white out and that scared the bejesus out of me. So I stuck to the beginners’ slopes, mastered the tow ropes and had the time of my life. It was so exhilarating looking back up the mountain and realising I’d learned a completely new skill. When was the last time I’d done that? It was awesome.

Après-ski is a big part of the experience — when we got our boots from Snowberry, we got a little leaflet with such enticements as one free shot with every alcoholic drink at Doudoune Chalet and free entry on Monday nights to Dick’s T Bar. I don’t know what a T bar is and alas I never found out because after a day’s skiing, a stint in the chalet’s hot tub, eating my pan fried veal fillet and being educated about Spotify by my chalet mates, I was only fit for the leaba.

But FYI, you crazy kids — if you are heading to Val d’Isere, buy one cocktail at the Fall Line bar and you get one free. You are welcome.

For day walkers, there’s a chic village vibe going on in Val d’Isere. I loved wandering around the patisseries and the boutiques — I got some great bargains, with 70% off a lot of the merchandise, tootling around admiring the traditional Savoyarde architecture, and stopping in for hot chocolate. I can recommend the giant frothy beers at Le Coin des Amis. The food at La Tete de Solaise is exceptional. And do not miss La Rosée Blanche at the base of the Telecabine de La Daille.

For a first-timer, the Highlife experience makes everything so very easy. Everything’s included, from shuttles from the airport, minibus transfers to your chalet door, the chefs and hosts, all meals and drinks, freshly-baked homemade treats — divine. They do discovery tours if you want, and they shuttle you right to the slopes. You’re really looked after — I even got help putting my boots on each day.

And don’t worry, if you’re a more advanced skier than I am, Joe tells me the Espace Killy area has challenging black runs and off-piste skiing. From Val d’Isere, you are within skiing distance of the base of the Grand Motte, one of Europe’s largest pisted glaciers.

So suit up and get swooshing. You won’t regret it.

LIVING THE HIGHLIFE

The Highlife season runs from November 30th 2013 to April 20th 2014 and the award-winning ski holidays are available from 840 for an adult and 686 for a child under 12.

Short breaks are also available from 3 to 4 nights from 514.

As a fully bonded travel agent, Highlife will organise flights from any point of departure.

www.highlife.ie, 01 677 1100, [e-mail].

They have Christmas packages available that sound totally magical.

Joe’s contact for lessons is [e-mail] and the bould Pierre is [e-mail].