Gen Z Diary: Last-minute cancelling didn't exist before mobiles — it's important to show up

Jane Cowan: 'Staying home is probably the path of least resistance in any given moment. Particularly as the weather becomes increasingly miserable this time of year, the temptation to skip the hangout in favour of an episode (or five) of Gilmore Girls in bed is very real.'

There’s nothing I want to experience more in life than meeting a friend under Clery’s clock in an era before mobile phones existed. It sounds so idyllic. You’re probably speaking to your friend at work or something and you just make plans to go for a drink next week.

Instead of fussing over an online booking or syncing your Google calendars in order to find a time where you’re both free, you just say that you’ll see each other under Clery’s clock at 7pm next week, and don’t speak again until you’re actually there. 

There’s no texting a day before to confirm, or tracking anyone’s location to see when they’ve got the bus. You make a commitment and you just bloody make it happen.

The main selling point for this kind of socialising, to someone that has only known friendship with phones, is that it leaves no room for the last-minute cancellation. From what I’ve been told, the last-minute cancellation didn’t really exist in my parents’ day. 

You were invited to the party. You got yourself there. You agreed to a cinema trip after work. You were watching that movie and choking on popcorn whether you liked it or not. Socialising was a rigid plan you had to stick to. You had to show up for your friends or leave them shivering under Cleary’s clock like an eejit.

The ability to cancel on your friends at the last minute is certainly a phenomenon of the 21st century. And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for the convenience of the smartphone or anything, but I think we’ve all become a little too comfortable with cancelling on each other. We’re all guilty of it.

Whether you’re the person soft launching a cancellation by sending an initial text about the terrible weather or the delayed buses, or you’re the person sighing with relief when you see that your friend is feeling as unenthusiastic about trekking to a pub in the pouring rain as you are.

Staying home is probably the path of least resistance in any given moment. Particularly as the weather becomes increasingly miserable this time of year, the temptation to skip the hangout in favour of an episode (or five) of Gilmore Girls in bed is very real. I totally get it! 

I have often delighted in something coming up for a friend that forcibly renders our plans void. I won’t pretend otherwise. Even for my closest friends that I love very much, I will rarely be mad about being offered a last-minute night in.

Honestly, I never want to put on make-up, or fix my hair, or wrestle an umbrella down to the bus stop. In the moment, I would almost always rather have a cup of tea at home than face the ugly underbelly of the E2 bus. But cancel on your friends too often and what you’ve got is the memory of a friendship and a glorified pen pal. And we deserve better than that. 

In reality, I almost always regret not following through on plans that I’ve made with my friends. Once you hit that fifth episode of Gilmore Girls on a Friday night, you’ll find yourself asking things like: Am I wasting my 20s? Would I be having more fun if I was with my friends right now? Am I too young to know the script to a television show off by heart?

The answer to all such questions is a resounding "Yes, of course, you sorry excuse for a young person!" While we all become more indoctrinated into the world of our phones, it feels important to remind ourselves that our actual lives are lived in person. 

A little inconvenience might be the price we have to pay for our friendships.

That’s not something we tend to want to accept. We want to be able to cancel last minute, maintain our friendships, and only do things when our minds are 100% on board. But that perfect moment when we want to see our friends so badly that getting the bus into town doesn’t even feel like an obstacle? It might be a long way off. My friends will probably be married with children before that precise mood strikes me, unfortunately.

Humans are simple creatures. And when phones give us a choice between facing the cold and rainy outdoors to see our friends, and staying in with a cuppa, we might make the wrong one.

That’s the beauty of Clery’s clock! No real choice involved. Either show up on time, or leave your friend hanging. Ah, it all sounds so simple. But then again, no Google Maps.