Bernard O'Shea: Five things I've learned about middle-aged friendship maintenance

Here are the key things I’ve learned about keeping friendships not just alive, but quietly thriving, in the middle-aged jungle

Bernard O'Shea: "If the 20s were about collecting friends, the 40s are about keeping them — through silence, memes, invoices, odd-hour crises, and pints that arrive once every geological era. And even if the WhatsApp thread goes quiet, the connection never does."

1. The slow drift into organised affection

In your 20s, friendship is a reckless, athletic pursuit. You didn’t 'arrange' to see people; you simply materialised beside them in pubs, apartments, fielsds, nightclubs named after Roman emperors for no reason, and kitchens belonging to strangers who had a fondness for lava lamps.