Diary of a Gen Z Student: We all have our preferences — I won't date a short man

Jane Cowan in the Shelbourne Hotel, Dublin Photograph Moya Nolan

I am very progressive in many ways. I believe in things like equality, diversity, inclusion, oat milk, platform Doc Martens. I am a woman of the 21st century, after all. 

I don’t smoke. I don’t go to Mass. I wear sun cream every day. You know, the usual. 

And this liberalism largely extends to my dating life. I’m not enamoured by a grown man who wants his girlfriend to fulfil the role of his mother. 

I don’t plan to sacrifice my career for someone else’s. I don’t think I need to have children to live a full life.

But if I’m being truthful, there are some ways in which my staunch liberalism falters. That is, I can’t entertain anything romantic with a man who is shorter than me.

I probably shouldn’t admit to that. I am all for equality when it comes to educational opportunities, fair salaries, and access to healthcare. But I am not the HSE. 

So, if I want to discriminate against suitors based on arbitrary things like height, I think that is my prerogative. 

Some people say that height shouldn’t be a factor in dating. Maybe they’re right. Or maybe they’re short, who knows. 

I am, however, too old to pretend that I’m not shallow. And the idea that my jeans are longer than yours is frankly off-putting.

I’m not going to pretend that all of my reasons for this are grounded in perfect logic. But since when are anyone’s dating preferences perfectly logical? 

If men are allowed to say they only date blondes, I’m allowed to take back some power. And banish short men from my life.

It’s nothing personal; I’m sure plenty of short guys have lovely personalities. They can be very down to earth (literally). But there are practical reasons to discriminate in this way.

For example, if I am cold and borrowing your jacket, I will get the ick if those sleeves only reach halfway down my forearms. I think that’s fair. Then there are my less pragmatic, more sexist biases.

One issue is that I would not be able to bring myself to get something off the top shelf for a man. It’s immature. It’s discriminatory. 

But what do you mean, you can’t do it yourself? What would you do if I weren’t around? Jump? Grow up.

For the record, I am 5 foot 9 and a half inches (yes, the half is important). That’s a little over 176cm, for the metric system enthusiasts. 

Not Michael Jordan, but taller than most of my friends. 

And I quite enjoy being tall. There’s a lot to be said for being able to see over the crowd at concerts or reach a top shelf. 

I’ve never even needed to get a pair of trousers hemmed. Equally, it has its drawbacks. 

Jeans that reach my ankles are in short supply. Skirts that preserve my dignity are a rarity. And short people will talk about my height like I’m some sort of a medical marvel or a circus act.

You may be wondering how tall I ask the ideal man to be. In general, 5 foot 11 or above, is great. If he’s 5 foot 10, I’ll get over it. 

If he’s my height exactly, he would want to have a seriously good sense of humour and a trust fund. 

However, the minimum height that I would entertain on a dating profile is 6 foot. Because we all know 6 foot on Hinge is 5 foot 10 in the real world.

I’m too old and cynical to believe the height men claim on a dating app. They think girls can’t tell what 6 foot looks like, but they are wrong. 

Now, if I was 5 foot 2, I would be happy with a 5 foot 4 man. But those are not the cards I was dealt. 

Is it evolutionary? Well, I tend to assume a taller man would have a better chance of saving me from a sabre-toothed tiger or defending my honour in a brawl. So, maybe it is biology. But would it be such a bad thing if it’s just my preference?

Women have spent too long settling for the bare minimum. I think it’s time we say what we actually want. And I want height. 

I don’t think that should be controversial. I’m not saying that the only decent guys are the ones who are taller than me.

But I’m 21 and in no rush to settle down. If I can’t be picky now (if a height preference is picky to begin with), when can I be?