Bernard O'Shea: Five of the best things I bought in the middle aisle

And the all-consuming question: Why do I keep buying this stuff?

Bernard O'Shea, comedian.

Every time I step into Lidl or Aldi, I promise myself, ‘Bernard, just milk and bread: That’s it.’

But like Odysseus lured by the sirens, I hear the faint whispers of a reduced-price air fryer calling me from the middle aisle.