Bernard O'Shea: 50 ways to get through St Stephen’s Day

If you’re like me, St. Stephen’s Day can feel like a day desperately needing a strategy. So, here are 50 ways to survive on the day after Christmas.

Bernard O'Shea. "Embrace the leftovers. Get creative—turkey curry or pie- or just eat it cold in the fridge like a nocturnal scavenger." Photograph Moya Nolan.

1-10: Food and Drink Survival Tactics

1. The Turkey Resurrection: Embrace the leftovers. Get creative—turkey curry or pie- or just eat it cold in the fridge like a nocturnal scavenger.

2. Avoid the Christmas Pudding Trap: No one actually likes it. Stick to the chocolates.

3. The 10th Sandwich Rule: You’re allowed ten. After that, your cholesterol has a right to call the guards.

4. Drink Strategically: Hydrate with water between cups of tea and leftover Prosecco. Trust me, your stomach will thank you.

5. Make St. Stephen Proud: He was martyred, so at least toast him with that bottle of Aldi rosé you didn’t open on Christmas.

6. Settle the Selection Box Debate: Heroes are better than Celebrations. There, I said it.

7. The Crisp Buffet: Lay out every bag of Tayto you can find and call it a “grazing platter.”

8. Embrace the Cheese Board: Nobody knows what to do with it, but it looks posh.

9. The Annual Biscuit Tin Hunt: Where’s the tin? Why is it full of sewing supplies? Who eats Rich Tea anyway?

10. Ban the Brussels Sprouts: They’ve done their time. Let them rest.

11-20: Family Dynamics Management

11. The Great Escape Plan: Volunteer to walk the dog—even if you don’t have one.

12. The Post-Dinner Nap Excuse: Fake exhaustion to avoid washing up.

13. Board Game Arbitration: Monopoly is banned. Stick to Charades; at least it doesn’t end in property disputes.

14. Create Fake Jobs: “Oh, I’ll check the recycling!” This gets you 15 guilt-free minutes of peace.

15. Distract the Kids: Give them the empty wrapping paper tubes and let them duel. Hours of entertainment.

16. Settle Arguments Early: Who sat in whose chair? Who ate the last Quality Street? Mediate like you’re on a UN peacekeeping mission.

17. Avoid the Politics Trap: If Uncle Joe talks about the government, pretend the Wi-Fi’s gone down.

18. The Tactical Compliment: “Oh, this stuffing was even better today!” It keeps the cook happy.

19. The Old Photo Gambit: Bring out the albums. It’s wholesome and deflects attention. Beware of previous dodgy haircuts.

20. The Ghost of Christmas Dinner Past: Retell the story of the year the turkey fell on the floor.

21-30: Entertainment Options

21. The Annual Viewing of The Great Escape : Mandatory. Steve McQueen will not be ignored.

22. A Second Viewing of The Great Escape : Because Dad fell asleep the first time.

23. The Classic Christmas Movie Debate: Is Die Hard a Christmas film? (No, it’s not!)

24. The St. Stephen’s Day Quiz: Make it easy: 10 rounds on who started rows in previous years.

25. The Christmas Comedy Special: Watch it, laugh, and then complain it wasn’t as good as last year.

26. The Blanket Fort Olympics: Kids (and adults) will love it. Bonus points for structural integrity.

27. Gaming Consoles vs. Reality: Let the teenagers disappear into FIFA for three hours.

28. Embrace the Silence: Everyone staring at their phones in separate rooms isn’t antisocial. It’s survival.

29. Rediscover Board Games: If you’ve survived Monopoly, go for Trivial Pursuit. Just be ready to explain why Pluto isn’t a planet anymore.

30. The Karaoke Compromise: Someone’s going to suggest it. Pre-empt them with the Fairytale of New York.

31-40: Health and Sanity Preservation

31. Walk Off the Guilt: A brisk stroll will clear your head and justify the tenth sandwich.

32. Avoid the Scales: They have no business here until mid-January.

33. Dance It Out A family disco in the kitchen burns calories and embarrassment.

34. Detox? Not Yet: December 26th is not the time for green juice. Wait until you’re desperate.

35. The Pyjama Policy: Wear them all day. Who cares?

36. Yoga for Digestive Relief: Yes, it’s a thing. Google it.

37. The Chocolate Cleanse: Finish the lot. Out of sight, out of mind.

38. Meditate or Fake It: Ten minutes of pretending to breathe deeply can change everything.

39. No Guilt Zone: Whatever you’re doing, remember it’s okay. St. Stephen would approve.

40. Call a friend, especially one who can remind you that it’s only one day a year.

41-50: The Endgame

41. Plan a Grand Exit: “I’m heading to the pub to watch the match” works every time.

42. The Post-Lunch Netflix Dive: A documentary about penguins is surprisingly soothing.

43. The Evening Cheese Regret: You’ll try it again. It’ll feel like a mistake. It’s tradition.

44. The Annual Leftover Inventory: How much ham is too much?

45. Clean the Wrapping Carnage: Just shove it all into one bag and deal with it in January.

46. The Card Game Comeback: Snap still counts as a game.

47. Sing a Song: End the night with a family rendition of Silent Night while screaming at them to be quiet

48. Write the Thank-You Notes, Or at least make a mental note to write them.

49. Prepare for Tomorrow: Yes, the world starts again tomorrow.

50. Toast St. Stephen: Raise a glass to the man himself. Without him, this day would just be Boxing Day.