Richard Hogan: Look after number one for a change and stop being such a people-pleaser

"When you say ‘yes’ to everything, your ‘yes’ has no value. People see that it has no value and they don’t value you, because they realise you don’t value yourself. Respecting yourself enough to say ‘no’ when you don’t want to do something is vital if you want others to respect you"

Richard Hogan: "Often the eldest daughter is told very early in their life that they are such a good big sister. This becomes their value. Being good equals saying ‘yes’. They learn very early in their development that their only value is being compliant and saying ‘yes’. They are the good sister, the good daughter, the good wife, the good mother and then they finally become the good daughter again as they look after their elderly parents."

Does this sound familiar? 

A work colleague asks you to do something that isn’t your responsibility to do, you don’t want to do it, in fact you don’t have time for it with all your other commitments, you want to say ‘no’ — you know you should say ‘no’ but instead you reply, ‘sure no problem’.