Ellen Keane: 'It's an internalised ableism we all have — that someone won't want me because I'm not like everyone else'

Paralympic gold medallist Ellen Keane has what can seem like unshakeable self-belief - but it hasn’t come easy. She talks to Gemma Fullam about the full circle moment of her final Olympics and what's next.

Paralympian, Ellen Keane this year’s ambassador during the launch of Design & Crafts Council Ireland (DCCI) Made Local 2024 campaign in Dublin's city centre. Photo: Gareth Chaney

“We always get so caught up in the results of events and the rewards and the successes that might come with those events, but I think the bottom line should always be your happiness.”

Happiness is something 29-year-old Ellen Keane prioritises and, like her other achievements, it isn’t accidental; she’s grafted for it. Hers is a purposeful life, lived with intention.

Last month, in Paris, at her fifth and final Paralympics, she chose not to chase hardware or glory to close out her stellar career in the pool. Instead, the gold-medallist from Clontarf consciously decided on a “complete circle moment” for her final swim, competing in the S9 100m backstroke in homage to “little Ellen” who “was a backstroker”. 

Such considered decision-making is classic Keane. She ended her swimming career her way, on her terms, with no regrets. The story arc was hers to write, and she owned it.

She’s wasting no time getting the next chapter down, either. She has a degree in culinary entrepreneurship, which she loved doing, but the desire for a less demanding life than she’s been used to, for a while at least, means a career in food isn’t in her sights for now.

“It’s something that maybe I’ll go back to later on in life, but right now I just came from a 24-7 job. I don’t want to go straight back into another one.”

Paralympian, Ellen Keane this year’s ambassador during the launch of Design & Crafts Council Ireland (DCCI) Made Local 2024 campaign in Dublin's city centre. Photo: Gareth Chaney

What she is planning, however, is a trip to Bali next month, for a yoga teacher-training course.

“I know a lot of yoga teachers who did their training in Bali and found it a really beautiful place to do it,” she says. “And it’s just that little bit further away from the rest of the world that you can escape and live in your own little bubble.”

Keane’s life as a competitive swimmer was very much lived in a bubble. 

Multiple daily training sessions in the pool and gym formed the core of a gruelling schedule, with her sport dictating everything from sleep times to the massive calories needed to power her performance in the pool.

“Fuelling your body is probably the hardest part about being a full-time athlete, making sure that you’re eating enough food,” she says, adding that she’d often blend meals in order to hit the high nutritional requirements — “my blender was my best friend”.

That tenacity and willingness to do what it took paid off, though — at 13, Keane was Ireland’s youngest ever athlete to compete at a Paralympics or Olympics. At 21, she won her first Paralympic medal, and at 26, in Tokyo, she swam a personal best in the SB8 100m breaststroke to take what BBC Sport described as a “sensational” gold. 

Ireland flagbearers Ellen Keane, right, and Michael Murphy during the closing ceremony of the Paris 2024 Paralympic Games in Paris, France. Photo by Ramsey Cardy/Sportsfile

MAKING PEACE

For athletes of Keane’s calibre, the adjustment to life after sport can be challenging, but she’s been proactive in laying the groundwork for that life and isn’t fearful of a future in which swimming is no longer the focus.

“I made peace with this decision so long ago. I guess because I’ve made so many great connections over the years in sport [and in life] that I know if I’m ever struggling, or need help, there’s so many people I can turn to, and I still have such a great support system. A big lesson I learned over the years is that nobody wants you to fail and everyone wants to help you succeed in life.

“So it’s always about being able to communicate if you need help. I think that’s why I have such peace of mind at the moment, because I know, worst-case scenario, that someone will help me if I need it.” 

Ellen Keane of Ireland after finishing joint first in her women's 100m breaststroke SB8 heat on day two of the Paris 2024 Paralympic Games at La Défense Arena in Paris, France. Photo by Sportsfile

The bonds that she forged in sport are tight-knit and solid; for Keane, it’s Team Ireland all the way, and that team spirit extends to all those who represent Irish talent in all its forms, making her a perfect ambassadorial pick for Made Local, an initiative of the Design and Crafts Council of Ireland to highlight Irish design and craft and encourage shoppers to buy local when gifting this year.

“I have always taken so much pride in representing Ireland and being Irish and seeing how people all over the globe respond to Irish people. I think it’s like our superpower,” she says.

Ireland's Ellen Keane celebrates winning a gold medal in the women's 100m breaststroke. Pic: INPHO/Tommy Dickson

 

I suggest that the resilience, dedication and passion she has shown as a top-tier athlete are also qualities necessary to surviving and thriving as a craftsperson, and Keane agrees. 

“Being a sportsperson and the resilience it takes… you don’t always see immediate results. It takes years and years of working on your craft. For me, my craft was swimming. I can completely relate to the ups and downs these designers and craftspeople face every year.”

FACING THE ISSUES

Supporting others is in Keane’s DNA, and she’s not afraid to be vulnerable in the process, if that’s what’s required. What can seem like unshakeable self-belief hasn’t come easy, though. The athlete, who was born missing her left arm from below the elbow, has spoken in the past of issues with self-esteem and confidence, and how she’s worked hard “to change the narrative” in her head.

I share with her a story of a friend who has self-sabotaged romantic opportunities, fearing his disability will lead to rejection. Putting the theory of self-belief into practice — actually living it — is really hard, I suggest, and her response is typically insightful.

“I think that’s probably the hardest thing about being someone who’s different or being someone who has a disability, because I think it’s an automatic kind of internalised ableism that we all have — that someone won’t want me because I’m not like everyone else. 

"Sometimes that’s why people want you. It’s because you are confident in yourself and you’re able to love yourself no matter what. The bravest thing to do, I think, is to just try.

“I always say that if people are going to be mean about my arm, then they’re a bit of a loser. So I’ve been quite reflective in that aspect. Who do I want to share my life with? Is it someone who’s going to care about my arm? 

"And then, because I’ve probably been meaner to myself throughout the years about my arm, anything anyone could say now wouldn’t hurt me because I probably said so many worse things [to myself].

“It is a bit of working on yourself first, and then being brave enough to put yourself out there. But that’s where having role models of someone with a disability [is important] and seeing the visibility of people [with a disability] in relationships and how normal it is.

“That’s what makes a difference to people with disabilities — to see someone like them living a regular life.”

Paralympian, Ellen Keane this year’s ambassador during the launch of Design & Crafts Council Ireland (DCCI) Made Local 2024 campaign in Dublin's city centre. Photo: Gareth Chaney

OUT OF THE ZONE

And Keane is that visible role model, pushing herself to deliver firsts — her sporting firsts are legion, but two years ago, she became the first person with a disability to compete on Dancing With the Stars (she came second). 

Her willingness to step out of her comfort zone in order to grow was forged in the pool.

“When you’re exercising, or when you’re in the flow of doing something that you love, you learn to appreciate what your body’s capable of doing, rather than what it looks like.

“You learn to recognise what it feels like to feel good and to feel healthy,” she continues, “sport is where I realised I could be happy and I could love my body.”

She’s constantly paying her hard-won wisdom forward. Last year’s biography, Perfectly Imperfect, was a deep dive into self-belief, celebrating difference and the empowering nature of self-acceptance — “Because I was so insecure as a kid, I felt like no one understood how I was feeling,” she says. 

“So to be able to put that down on paper for someone else to read and to realise that they’re not alone, I think that was a really important move for me.

“Your disability isn’t the be-all and end-all,” she adds in typically frank fashion. “That’s what I talk about in my book. I realised I wasn’t the centre of the universe and that was a good thing. Just realising, I was the same as everybody else.”

• Ellen Keane is this year’s Made Local ambassador. DCCI developed the ‘Made Local’ initiative during the covid pandemic to support the Irish design and craft industry. There are currently 1,402 makers and 361 retailers involved in the campaign, all listed at madelocal.ie.