Diary of a Gen Z Student: Are you counting on us to contribute to society and the greater good?

Though maybe if you can make it through the clubbing and college bars, you can prevail over any hardship...

Diary of a Gen Z Student: "You’re telling me that the guy doing tequila shots chased with vodka and Red Bull at 7pm on a Tuesday night will be my doctor one day? I wouldn’t trust him to identify a stethoscope, never mind use the bloody thing." Picture: Barry Cronin

Have you ever looked at college students and 20-somethings on a night out? Like really looked at them? There tends to be a lot to observe, in my experience. It’s what I imagine it would look like to let zoo animals roam free in the savannah... if the savannah was a dingy, sticky, sweaty nightclub. A nightclub carrying all sorts of health risks — strep throat, alcohol poisoning, STIs, boys who are ‘into crypto’, history students, etc.

If you’re standing in the queue at the college bar on a Friday night, there’ll be lots to observe. This is a unique type of watering hole, though there’s a distinct lack of water consumption taking place. You’ll see people bumble on about their modules and exams. You’ll see people sneaking alcohol in. There’ll be a few with their laptops out, furiously typing up an assignment that’s probably due in 20 minutes. The percentage of assignments submitted under the influence of alcohol, from a table in the college bar, would certainly not inspire hope in our future workforce. And there’ll always be some others engaging in what looks like a competition to see who can shove their tongue furthest down someone’s throat. A competition you may win... but at what cost? Having everyone in your course in the audience? It’s one competition where I’m not 100% convinced a winner really exists.

When I become conscious of the fact that I’m observing a room full of our future doctors, lawyers, teachers, and nurses, I am overcome with both fear and shock in equal measures. You’re telling me that the guy doing tequila shots chased with vodka and Red Bull at 7pm on a Tuesday night will be my doctor one day? Dishing out health advice in five years? I wouldn’t trust him to identify a stethoscope, never mind use the bloody thing. I better not get sick, is all I’ll say. Because if students are our future, we might want to consider packing it in. The apocalypse might be happening sooner than we’ve been led to believe.

Diary of a Gen Z Student: "When I become conscious of the fact that I’m observing a room full of our future doctors, lawyers, teachers, and nurses, I am overcome with both fear and shock in equal measures"

I mean, are people seriously counting on us to contribute to society and the greater good at some point? It looks like a losing game, to me. But I guess if there’s something positive to be said about us, we certainly don't do anything in halves. If we say we're going out, we mean it. And maybe if you can make it through the clubbing and college bars, you can prevail over any hardship. It’s like an alternative training course in essential life skills. I, for one, have developed some serious resilience during my training. Waiting on the quays in Dublin for the 39A in bare legs at 4am has been formative for me. I simply don’t feel the cold in my extremities anymore. That’s pretty hardcore, if you ask me. Let’s just say I have a fair idea of how 40 days and 40 nights in the desert would feel. And I’m fairly confident that Jesus would experience quite the culture shock if he bore witness to a student night out. He’d take those sandals of his back to the desert for another 40 days after a few minutes inside a Harcourt Street night-club. And I couldn’t really blame him for that.

But maybe there is a semblance of hope for us. You have to think about the organisational skills you can develop on these nights out. We tend to go out with some sort of game plan. Main objective: get to whatever nightclub you’re going to. But don’t forget the ‘side quests’ — the mini-missions you hope to accomplish throughout the night. I have one friend who is particularly skilled in this regard. Who is going to kiss whom? Who is going to send a text to their ex-boyfriend, looking for closure? She has it all planned out. That’s got to be a transferrable skill. She’ll be running a company in no time.

The college night out might be decent learning for our future endeavours. And learning isn’t supposed to be pretty. It’s certainly not pretty when you see wild animals (students) discover the opportunities that reside within the four walls of a college bar or night-club. Look, we all have to start somewhere. And college is only four years or thereabouts, so you have to take advantage while you’re there. Generations before came out the other side, so here’s to hoping we’ll make it through too. Even the history students.