Diary of a Gen Z Student: Singles are the unsung heroes of friend groups

Every man that I speak to is a suitor, in my coupled-up friends' eyes. That includes rail security on the Luas.

Jane Cowan is a student in Trinity College Dublin, where she is in her second year, studying English.

This is an ode to my fellow single ladies (and lads). We are the unsung heroes of our friend groups, but not today. Today, I am singing our praises. Valentine’s has been and gone.

Celebrations of love are taking a break for the time being.

So, who sustains the friend group with entertainment for the rest of the year? We do, with our tales of romantic woe. Where’s our day of
celebration? It’s not an easy role to find yourself in, but we handle it with grace.

Romantic stories of how wonderful and fulfilling it is to be securely coupled up, are nice and all, but relaying a story about how you accidentally spilled coffee on yourself on a first date, and smiled through the pain of your self-inflicted first-degree burn, will always get at least a pity laugh — according to an anonymous source, that is (I’m a journalist, I will protect my source to the bitter end).

But seriously, I swear my friends that are in relationships are more invested in my love life than I am.

It’s like their own relationships are too stable, they need some chaos to keep them entertained.

That’s my cue. Enter me, carrying enough romantic chaos to power a small city. Someone’s got to do it. The coupled up are just fizzing with excitement at every development (real or imagined) in my romantic life. They tend to be full of very hopeful, and very well-intended delusions. Every man that I speak to is a suitor, in their eyes. That includes rail security on the Luas.

“He’s not interested in whether or not you’ve paid for the Luas, Jane. Did you not see the way he asked to see your Leap Card?” It’s all in the eyes, apparently.

Their delusions are impressive, I’ll give them that much.

I can always count on them to listen closely to the goings-on in my love life. If there’s ever been a bad first date, they’re the first to hear about it. He was late? He didn’t pay for my drink? He was rude to the staff? It’s my responsibility as the single friend to share those stories. And trust me, they will not get over that grudge easily. It’s like they enter into their relationship and forget the total treachery that they once had to endure.

They’re shocked at the thought of a boy not making sure I got home safely, while I would be positively dumbfounded if he remembered to do such a gentlemanly thing. Is chivalry dead? I can practically hear the voices of single women all over Ireland screaming a resounding “yes”, to answer that. Same-day delivery of flowers on Valentine’s Day, exists for a reason. Sure you couldn’t expect the lads to remember that too, could you? As a single person, I am never shocked by how low the bar is. It can feel a bit Beckettian, so tragic that you can only laugh.

If carrying the burden of keeping your friends topped up on stories of your romantic escapades wasn’t enough, you must also come to terms with being the recipient of unsolicited dating advice.

In my experience, people who are in relationships view themselves as these all-knowing entities, full of unique insights into all things dating.

Not that I’m bitter or anything. They’re buzzing for the opportunity to dish out their oh-so-sage relationship advice. “You have to stop looking — he’ll find you.” But also, “Just go to a bar, you’ll be fighting them off with a stick.” But also,“It will happen when you least expect it”.

If they looked outside of their relationship, they might be disappointed to face the harsh reality that 20-year-old boys are not exactly jumping at the chance to be tied down to just one girl.

God love them, it can’t be easy on their simple minds. Like a kid in a sweet shop, they’ve just got too much choice.

So, spare a thought for the singletons in your life. They’ve just made it through a difficult time of year. Every shop front is saturated with reminders of their relationship status.

Buy them a bouquet. Tell them you appreciate the constant stream of stories – romantic, tragic or otherwise. 

I’m not out here expecting to win any awards for dating. But God knows I deserve a participation badge at the very least, all of the singletons do.