Bernard O'Shea: An ode to the humble air fryer

Pic: iStock

From the headlights of a DHL van so bright,

A new device has entered my life.

An air fryer, born of culinary might,

An end to oil-soaked gastric strife.

At first, I thought it was an alien device from the future sent to spy on my nightly raid of the fridge. 

But no, it was an air fryer, the new sentinel of our kitchen, standing stout and ready for culinary combat.

I eyed it suspiciously, as one would regard a new colleague who laughs a little too loudly at the boss’s jokes. Was this contraption a friend or a fiend? 

My wife, a wizard in online shopping, proclaimed it the next guardian of our gastronomy. I, a sceptical muggle of modernity, wasn’t entirely convinced.

According to a plethora of published studies, air fryers use hot air to cook food that would otherwise be dunked in a gallon of oil. 

Less oil means fewer calories and less guilt as you reach for that third piece of fried chicken. The science was as crisp as the fries promised — undeniable and tempting.

It was brought to market by the Dutch company Philips but invented by Fred van der Weij, a name etched in the golden halls of crispy delight. 

In 2010, van der Weij introduced us to the air fryer. This culinary wizard turned our greasy indulgence into a whisper of calorie count. 

With a wave of his inventive wand, van der Weij brought to life a machine destined to sit in our kitchens, as essential as the stove, yet as revolutionary as the first slice of bread. 

Philips refined “rapid air technology”, a fancy term for using hot air circulated at high speed to cook food. 

It was like giving your meals a sauna, where they come out not just cooked, but incredibly crisp, and minus the excessive oil — a miraculous middle ground between fried and, well, not fried. 

I’m unsure if van der Weij envisions a “yoghurt” function. (My wife has warned me: “Don’t start making f**king yoghurt in my air fryer.”)

In this whirlwind of culinary evolution, the air fryer is not alone. 

GOLDEN DELIGHTS

We need to remember how miraculous inventions that seem mundane to us have changed the domestic kitchen. 

It joins the ranks of the iconic toaster, a morning wizard turning bread into warm, crispy slices of heaven. 

The electric kettle, an unsung hero, is quick to boil and ready to brew our favourite teas and coffees in a jiffy. 

And who could overlook the George Foreman grill, the champ of indoor grilling, giving us those charred lines of perfection without stepping outside? 

The air fryer is joining those countertop ranks.

And as we embrace the golden, crispy delights that the air fryer bestows upon us, the quest for the perfect air-fried chip is akin to the holy grail. 

I spoke to Ray D’arcy on his radio show about this particular grail search a few weeks back. 

This might seem a trivial topic, but it’s not. It consistently ranks high in the Google search: “What is the best frozen chip for an air fryer?”

My answer? Seek frozen chips with a dash of oil, for they awaken golden and crisp in the airy embrace of the fryer. 

Beware of the overly thin; they are the sirens leading your crispy dreams to a mushy demise. 

Embrace the chunky, for in their ample embrace lies the perfect equilibrium of crispy exterior and tender soul. 

But my pick would be, without naming them, rhymes with “santy messy”.

Another golden nugget of the air fryer is its efficiency. 

This magical contraption is a beacon of economic radiance in a world where utility bills haunt one’s peaceful slumbers. 

Consuming less power than a traditional oven, it’s like having a Tesla in your kitchen. In the future, we may even travel to work on an air fryer. 

Every succulent bite of your guilt-free fries isn’t just a victory over calories but also a tiny rebellion against the tyranny of the electricity bill.

Reflecting on my journey, air fryers symbolise a blend of science and tradition. No more peeling half-burnt chips off a baking tray for me, I tell ya!

A dance of flavours, tradition and tech unite,

Crispy tales spun, breaking the silent night.

Each golden bite, a flavourful flight,

Yet, the yoghurt function beckons to a new height.

I’m definitely going to try and make my own yoghurt.