Richard Hogan: Make social media companies pay when they violate our kids

Let’s stop offering sympathy to families of children who have been violated, like the teenager attacked in Navan, and take action to prevent it happening again

Richard Hogan. Photograph Moya Nolan

Bullying has always been a scourge of the teenage world. Of course, it is present in the adult world too, but teenagers can really find themselves targeted and isolated. 

It is a particularly profound experience among teenagers because they rely so heavily on their peers for support. 

So, when that becomes toxic or violent, it can leave an indelible mark on the psyche of the person targeted and, in my experience, can cause life-long damage. 

In today’s technologically driven world, children are more susceptible to being bullied than ever before. It can be very subtle like excluding someone from a social event and then sending them a picture of everyone else having such a wonderful time. 

The same part of the brain fires when we experience physical pain as when we are excluded. So, it can really hurt. 

Working clinically with teenagers, this type of bullying is quite prevalent among teenage girls and it causes serious upset and distress to the teenager being excluded. 

Snapchat pics of friends sharing hot chocolate in the local café or a group pic of friends in the throes of having a great day are posted on social media platforms with the intent to isolate and illuminate the targeted person's exclusion. 

As I said, this can be a very painful experience and difficult one to deal with because it is so subtle.

THE IMPACT OF EXCLUSION

I have worked with this for many years and it is very disturbing to see the impact that kind of behaviour has on the person targeted and excluded. It often happens when someone falls out with a more dominant friend. 

That rupture in the friendship causes the more dominant friend to launch a subtle and nasty attack on an ex-friend by turning current friends against them and posting negative comments and pics on platforms they all share. 

The friends, terrified that they will be the ones isolated and targeted, align with the more dominant friend and cause incredible pain to their once friend. This can have devastating consequences for the teenager as they feel incredibly hopeless, and with nowhere to turn.

That can be the roots of a very tragic outcome. Unfortunately, we have all witnessed that disturbing and dark outcome in our communities for far too long. 

We need more education in schools on this topic, children need to understand the impact bullying has on the person targeted and the laws against perpetrating such a crime.

Children must understand that they are breaking the law and that there are legal consequences when they target a person in this way. 

The problem, as I see it, schools often lack the training when dealing with cases of bullying. 

They can often make it worse, by inadvertently outing the targeted student as the person who brought attention to what is happening to them and now they are labelled as ‘a rat’. 

The bullying only intensifies in incidences like this. The isolation becomes more pervasive in the targeted person’s life. 

We need better training in schools for teachers who are on the frontline when dealing with bullying. 

TRAINING IS KEY

One student I worked with, who had been seriously bullied by a guy in his class, had to leave that school and find a new one halfway through 5th year because the teacher made the student in question stand up in front of the class and apologise to the student he was bullying. 

His position was now untenable. He had been severely bullied by that student but the teacher's intervention made things far worse. So training is key. 

Of course, parental involvement is vitally important in ensuring children do not become perpetrators of bullying. 

I have worked with teenagers who have bullied other children and in nearly all cases they were victims themselves of bullying or they lacked self-esteem. It does not excuse their behaviour but it certainly helps to explain it.

We have all been appalled at the story of the teenager in Navan who was targeted and beaten by a group of his peers, on his way from school. 

These types of incidences, unfortunately, are not new but the fact that the attack was recorded and shared on social media platforms meant that the child experienced two serious violations. 

Of course, the first is being attacked, but the second and perhaps the most dangerous one, nearly 6 million people viewed that attack. Now, think about that for a moment. 

At your most vulnerable, someone records it and shares it for everyone to witness. What kind of impact do you think that has on the mind of a teenager? What do you think their conclusion might be? 

This is life-threatening stuff, and we need our politicians to get on top of social media platforms and stop pandering to them. 

PLATFORM ACCOUNTABILITY

The Government acts like they have no control over them. Let’s stop offering sympathy to families of children who have been violated like this, and take immediate action to prevent future children and families from being victimised, now that would be the best apology of all.

We can’t expect these platforms to simply be motivated by ethics and principles and take down these types of videos because that’s what generates their income. 

The more clicks, the more money. We need robust legislation in place, and we need to finally stop acting like we can’t keep up with what is happening online. Of course, it is challenging, but we have to meet that challenge. It’s not impossible.

Like bringing in seatbelts, everyone said: "People will never wear them". The minute you bring in legislation and you fine people, you change culture. 

We need a dramatic shift in culture here, children have to stop posting dangerous content, social media platforms have to be held accountable and schools need more training on how to deal with bullying when it arises in the school environment.