Before you can say I do, focus on the to-dos!
Fail to plan, plan to fail: Make sure your big day goes as smoothly as possible by starting your planning early.
It’s an exciting time. You’re engaged, you are showing off the ring to your friends, spreading the glad news everywhere. But right away you should start planning for that biggest of big days, making sure you’ve thought of everything and arranged all the vital details well in advance. That way, you can be as serene and beautiful on the day itself as you would wish. Remember – practical planning makes for a perfect performance!
What do you need to think about? Well, here is our helpful checklist, our one-stop guide to all the things you should start thinking of right now:
You might think that the location for the actual wedding ceremony or the venue for the bridal feast would need to be thought of first, but it would be sensible to decide before then on the number of guests you hope to invite. Will it be an extremely private occasion with very few close acquaintances, or a huge event with all the relatives on both sides as well as friends? Be warned that this question of whom to invite can cause arguments and disagreements if not treated thoughtfully and with a willingness to accommodate each other!
Church or registry office, religious or humanist, hilltop or lakeside? It’s your choice, but remember that churches get booked up pretty quickly, especially at weekends in spring and summer, and so do alternative ceremonial venues as well as those who conduct them, so check that your date is available (allowing for flexibility is wise). Non-denominational ceremonies in particular are seeing increasing demand. The former St. Catherine's Church at Ardbrack, Kinsale is one of many now available for civil ceremonies. A lovingly preserved building with beautiful stained-glass windows, steeped in history and original charm, venues like this one are likely to be hugely popular for 2023!
Again, the most popular places get booked up way ahead. Once you have settled the date, and have a rough idea of how many will be coming, go and check out some available hotels or other venues, and see if they offer what you want. Do they have good locations for photographs? A bridal suite? A varied food menu, allowing for dietary variations? Can bride and bridesmaids stay the night before? Can they provide a hairdresser, a make-up expert? Do they have a seamstress on hand for last-minute mendings or alterations? Most hotels will request a deposit in advance, which is understandable.
Yes, of course, this is the one item every newly-engaged person thinks of first, and probably spends most time searching for. Full length white or zany zombie? Traditional or unusual? You know what suits you. Look at a wide range and try on several. Bring your best friend who can give you an honest opinion.
Check that the one you choose can be altered before the big day (traditionally, brides are at their thinnest then, after all that planning and worrying!) And when searching for the perfect shoes to go with it, do remember that you will be wearing them all day, and whether you are walking up the aisle or traversing a forest glade, they need to be at least reasonably comfortable!
Are you having several or just one? If more than one, then does the same colour suit them all? Will a design that looks great on a slim body look less attractive on a fuller figure? You need to think of these things to keep those helpful girls happy on this special day.
One for you, one for him? Or just yours? Yes, he should get it, but it’s as well to be in on the choosing, since it has to fit your finger and also (not everyone thinks of this) fit well with the engagement ring. Once it or they have been secured, make sure and then sure again that they are kept somewhere safe, where they can’t possibly go missing at the last minute…
Both your bouquet, and the buttonholes for the best man/men, but also the flowers for the ceremony and the final venue. Talk to several providers and ask to see some of their previous work (they should have plenty to show you) before you decide.
Yes, these days everybody takes phone pics, but you may well want a few of the posed classical shots, as well as those taken in the preparations, in the car, etc. Make sure to explain clearly to the person you book what you want, whether informal casual shots or strictly formal.
Are you having live music or a disco? Gentle background from a quartet? What would go best with the event you are planning? There are hundreds of groups, bands, DJs out there who specialise in wedding functions. Try to go and see a few of them in action, to get a feeling for their style, and then see if it would accord with what you are envisaging for the day. Again, as always, the best ones tend to be booked up well ahead, so don’t leave it too late.
Traditionally the groom organises this, but most couples today see it as a joint planning venture, perhaps fitting in somewhere you always dreamed of visiting. Warning: his idea of the perfect honeymoon retreat may not be the same as yours (a basic hut in a safari park vs a luxury suite in the Maldives?), so, like the guest list, a good deal of preliminary discussion is vital! Remember to consider the time of year (tornado season? Cold weather? Monsoon?) and medical practicalities (vaccinations, tablets, etc) as well as necessary visas. You don’t want to be turned back at the airport!
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