Stars in Your Lives: Capricorns love routine, and they're serious career climbers

Each week, we take a fun look at the star signs. This week we look at the Capricorn personality and what you can expect if you have that goat energy in your life.

Greta Thunberg, climate activist speaks at Civil Society for rEUnaissance event on February 21, 2019 in Brussels, Belgium. Picture: Maja Hitij/Getty Images

• Date: 22 December — 19 January 
• Element: Earth 
• Symbol: The Goat

You and your husband sit at the kitchen table; your eight-year-old child is between you, overseeing arrangements for her upcoming Communion — unimpressed that you’ve left the preparations until the last minute.

“I’ll call that new restaurant, Sombreros,” you suggest. “It’s bursting with colourful flourishes!” “Mother,” your daughter interrupts, her voice dripping with condescension, “that establishment isn’t suitable for such an auspicious occasion — it’s younger than I am and lacks the much-needed experience to guarantee it can deliver. Daddy will hardly be able to network with piñatas dangling from the ceiling — or mariachi bands playing in the corner.”

“But, darling, it’s a day to be social butterflies, not social climbers,” you reply.

“Mother, every day is a day to climb that elusive ladder to success!” You stare at your husband. Aren’t children supposed to be fun and spontaneous?

They are — just not serious, career-obsessed, petrified-by-what-the-neighbours-will-say Capricorns.

THE CAPRICORN BABY

The tagline for the Tom Cruise film Edge of Tomorrow was ‘Live. Die. Repeat.’ This mantra could easily have been written with Capricorns in mind — oh my days, these goats love routine! Once you establish a structure in the house, never deviate from it.

When decorating the nursery, think Wallstreet. There’s no need for a cot — Capricorns have no time for sleeping — just a desk from where they can invest in the latest stocks and shares. Posters of New York or Tokyo skyscrapers on the walls would be a nice touch.

While their contemporaries learn to count using a colourful abacus, Capricorns need high-end digital calculators to crunch those multi-digit figures. And seeing as goats spend their days climbing the ladder to success, ensure they have comfortable clothes and sensible climbing shoes — and a harness and helmet in case they meet equally zealous Capricorns on their ascent, and a scuffle for the top rung ensues.

Capricorns are consistently good rather than occasionally great, so expect your child to place on the podium at the school’s sports days every year.

Physically strong, they enjoy boxing and wrestling — like Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier and George Foreman. But don’t bother bringing your camera to the prize-giving; your child will have already hightailed it home to chat with their business partners and earn some real gold — not the cheap kind their teacher bought from the local medal store.

Anthony Hopkins. Picture: John Shearer/Invision/AP

THR CAPRICORN CELEBRITY

Capricorn Donna Summer once scored a hit with ‘She Works Hard for the Money’—the perfect way to describe their work ethos. Some of the most recognisable names in business are entrepreneurial goats, including Jeff Bezos. And when they reach the top of the hill, it truly is the top, perfectly illustrated by King of Pop, Elvis Presley.

The Dowager Countess in Downton Abbey is obsessed with status and could only be played by Capricorn Maggie Smith. Other goats shrewdly aligned with the world’s leading movers and shakers include Kate Middleton, Michelle Obama, Heather Mills and Jared Kushner.

Their need for control invariably impacts their personalities. Take Kim Jong-un or Kevin Costner — hardly famed for their conviviality. Having fun isn’t a priority for them — they’re too busy changing the world like Joan of Arc, Greta Thunberg, Martin Luther King Jr, and a certain Jesus Christ.

But humanity’s inherent madness must find a way out somehow — and no matter how much Capricorns focus on their careers, what they repress will oppress. Look at David Bowie’s wardrobe — or the cray-cray characters played by Jim Carrey, Anthony Hopkins and Nicolas Cage. Even famed Aviator Howard Hughes’ senility hit turbulence in his latter years. At least Ricky Martin admitted that following years of chasing success, he ended up ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’.

THE CAPRICORN COLLEAGUE

Analytical Capricorns like Stephen Hawking and Isaac Newton excel in maths and science. However, don’t expect much company in the canteen because they rarely allocate time for communal eating — despite being interested in nutrition. Even Jesus’ last supper doubled as a work function where He discussed betrayals and denials.

In terms of fashion, expect your Capricorn colleague to be kitted out in durable, blah-coloured suits, horizontally striped shirts, braces and pleated trousers or skirts. As the old Buddhist expression goes:

“If you want to be a ruthless tycoon, prepared to sacrifice happiness and overlook all of life’s simple pleasures, then you gotta dress the part.” Capricorns also favour the colour green — and not just financially speaking. The only time you’ll see red on your colleague is when their faces are flush, overcome by the news that they’ve become a billionaire.

THE CAPRICORN LOVER:

Despite tendencies to control, Capricorns are generally good people — pragmatic, assertive and self-aware. This earth sign’s feet are firmly on the ground, making them a safe choice for a life partner — although, in the first flush of dating, you’ll have to work hard to switch their interest from FTSE to footsie.

A good reputation is everything to Capricorns — they’ll do anything to protect their family’s standing in society. So, if you end up having an affair with the milkman, they’ll probably overlook the transgression, fearful others will see your family as depraved perverts.

Just don’t expect milk to be delivered to your door again. If goats decide someone is a threat — whether to their career or family — they won’t think twice about addressing the situation, as Capricorn Dolly Parton previously proved with that jezebel, Jolene.