I'm a nurse and was never in debt, I never thought homelessness could happen to me

Homelessness is increasingly becoming a worry for many in Ireland

As Focus Ireland launches its annual Christmas Appeal, the latest homelessness figures are stark – 10,975 people homeless, 3,342 of them children.

“It can happen to anyone,” says mum-of-two Mary*, a nurse and Focus Ireland service user, who became homeless with her teenage children during the pandemic.

“I was never in arrears. I was always on top of things. Never in my wildest dreams did I think homelessness could happen to me,” she says, in conversation with Helen O’Callaghan.

“I was raised on Dublin’s south-side – a supportive family, great childhood. I went to school in Terenure, studied nursing in London, had some wonderful years there pursuing the career I’d wanted since childhood, living my best life.

“I met my husband in the UK, we married, moved to New York as his career took off. I had my children there in the noughties. Sadly, things changed – the relationship became toxic. I realised for my safety and my children’s I needed to get away. I found the courage to leave in the middle of the night, made my way to Ireland.

“Within a year we divorced. He wouldn’t pay support. In Dublin, I returned to nursing – it was 2009. In 2011 we found a lovely little terraced house to rent, three doors up from where we were living. I’d already established myself in the neighbourhood. The children had friends. I loved how secure the house felt – in the previous house, we’d had an attempted break-in.

“The landlord was very genuine, happy for me to do up the house. Thankfully my wonderful Dad was able to do the jobs and I covered the materials. My children and I were very happy, we’d left the traumatic early years of their childhood behind. I’d found great services for my child with autism – she was flourishing under SNA support in school, as was my other child.

“In January 2020, everything changed. The landlord got in touch – he was selling the house and gave an eviction date: October 6. I was devastated. It was the only home my children really knew – their earliest memories are of this house. It was home.

“Weeks later Covid hit, bringing an eviction freeze. The relief – not to have the panicked worry. It was enough raising two children in a pandemic, working as a frontline nurse, knowing I needed to stay safe and alive for my children.

“Home from busy shifts, I kept searching for a new home. I had every DAFT notification possible running, trying to find a private rental, but my HAP allowance of €1,912 plus my nurse’s salary didn’t amount to anything close to rent amounts for comparable properties in the area. I had to stay within the Services catchment so my child would keep getting supports.

“Every Friday I pored over Choice Based Letting. I kept in constant contact with South Dublin County Council, requesting updates on any suitable properties. I’d been on their housing list since 2009.

“In July 2021, the landlord called: the eviction freeze had been lifted – I should have been out that very day. He kindly gave me four weeks to find another property. The pressure was almost too difficult to bear.

“In early August, I moved most of my furniture into a storage unit. I told South Dublin County Council we were going to become homeless. They secured a place for us in their homeless hub. It was the day before my child’s 13th birthday.

“In August last year, we moved into the hotel room that was to be our new home. There was a double bunkbed, a small single bed, a dresser with three drawers, a table, plastic chair. We stood in shock as cold reality landed. I felt a bad mother. You want to provide a home for your children. Through no fault of my own, I couldn’t find an affordable property. Nurses’ wages aren’t great and I was working part-time because of the children’s needs.

“At the time, my 14-year-old had her Covid mask on, I could see her eyes welling up. She has OCD, there was chewing gum on one of the beds and she freaked. We were three women in the one room – as young teens, they’re not little children.

“I immediately started rearranging the room to put our stamp on it. I tried to reassure my children this was an adventure, we’d find our forever home soon, trying to put a spin on it, make it feel not as bad as it was. That night – them sharing the bunk-bed above me – I cried, knowing I had to stay strong, keep them motivated to enjoy school, hold onto my job, keep searching for a home.

“Our stuff was in storage boxes under the bed, on the window-sill…. Life was compacted. Your head gets compacted – you have no space to breathe, to think. I’d sit at the bottom of the bunk-bed, looking at TV, earphones in so as not to wake the children.

“Focus Ireland keyworkers provided support, understanding, advice. I can’t express my gratitude to have them in my life. Our support worker took the children for weekly art therapy sessions, she listened to their thoughts and fears. Focus Ireland arranged bus passes for them to-and-from school.

“Searching for private lettings, attending viewings, contacting landlords, property agents, I became incredibly stressed. For the first time I had to take a month off work on stress-leave. The hotel room had barely any sunlight, we were sick all the time. But I held down my job, I had to.

“A few months into this, I spotted a boarded-up house near where we used to live. It was under South Dublin County Council’s remit. I registered interest, contacted them every day. I learned: to receive a house, she/he who shouts the loudest wins, you have to fight, go completely outside your comfort zone – or get left behind.

“And then they said the house was ours! Months passed, I walked past it daily waiting for confirmation we could move in. 

In March this year, after seven months sharing a small hotel room with teenage children, we were given the keys.

“It was cold, dirty, dilapidated, concrete floors with no covering, decomposing Rottweiler in the garden. I had to continue to dig deep within myself to find my mettle to make this place a home. I wasn’t looking for the Ritz, just a liveable-in house, and this home was not that.

“My 80-year-old father helped me lay floors, sort the garden, put up furniture, made my child a wardrobe, start on making the place a home. I’ve a long way to go. We’re getting there. My child’s SNA sourced a wonderful wood-and-glass cabinet for the sitting room. I’ve just done a photo wall – it’s my pride and joy.

“My children are happy to have their own rooms, to have a door to close. In the homeless hub, my eldest used to say ‘If I could just close the door’.

“If I could say one thing to anyone reading my story, it’s I don’t want people’s pity – that isn’t a helpful emotion. People who find themselves homeless need to feel people are with them, shoulder-to-shoulder, not looking at them thinking ‘Oh God help you’.

“We don’t need sympathy. We need empathy. What I want to say is: Please support Focus Ireland to help people who find themselves in this situation.” 

• *Name changed.
• Donate to Focus Ireland: https://www.focusireland.ie/.