Emily Bell: ‘As women, you walk around in fear a lot of the time’

Emily Bell. Picture: Derek Miller/ The Picture House London

I grew up in Monkstown. If you’re watching Bad Sisters, it’s filmed around Dublin Bay and that’s my home turf. It was just my two older brothers, and my mum and dad.

It was such a delight growing up in that neighbourhood. It was a typical 80s childhood where we rode around on our bikes down to Dun Laoghaire pier with the boats coming in, getting ice cream at Teddy’s. It’s still one of my favourite places in the world.

It’s quite fitting that my earliest memory involves biscuits. I was given the very important job of pushing around the trolley that contained these special animal-shaped ones and passing them around at Montessori School.

I think there are many possibilities for us all if we’re lucky. I probably would have ended up doing more or less what I’m doing now regardless of any outer circumstances.

Both my parents being diagnosed with dementia was a challenge but I wasn’t facing it alone. I had my brothers. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with that. My mum was diagnosed first. We were so wrapped up in her that we actually didn’t notice my dad. It’s really hard to know what started when but I’d say there was about a year and a half in between recognising the problems in each person.

Making the bestseller list last year with my first book was a bit of a ‘pinch me moment’. I’m so grateful to my team — these things don’t happen without a lot of work behind the scenes. I wish that my mum had been around to see that because it would have given her such a kick.

I was in tears finishing my first half marathon. Having never been sporty in school, it was something I never could have imagined myself doing. I haven’t run more than 10k since then.

I would definitely say to anyone if they wanted to try it — if I can do it, anyone can. I was always the last to be picked for hockey; I couldn’t even hit the ball. But the Couch to 5k app is amazing. It makes you pace yourself — there’s a bit of accountability to help you. Like writing, actually.

When I started writing there was nobody asking me [for content] but I just sort of set myself a goal of 1000 words a day and showed it to a friend. It flowed from there. Start slow and set little tasks, and then the word count starts clocking up.

I always have an idea of what time it is (within five minutes) without a clock. That’s a pretty good quality.

I’m lucky I’ve always had good friends to turn to but the person I turned to most would have been my mum prior to losing her to illness and now, it’s my husband.

Things are always better after a good night’s sleep. It’s fairly banal advice but I think it’s the simplest things are the hardest ones to remember.

Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Even if you think ‘I’ll never be able to write a novel,’ just start with a page and then see what happens. That’s my top advice.

I’d like to be remembered with a smile, even if it’s at my expense.

I probably I can’t think of anything I’d ever change. Except that time when someone dyed my eyebrows. They turned out black. Aside from that, I’m happy to look back on everything that happened. A male professional did them [the eyebrows] which is unusual. I didn’t want to him to think that I didn’t trust him. I think that he may have even said to me ‘this is my first time’ and then he went to mix up the dye. I just had to live with them until they faded.

Climate change has affected everyone. I try to keep flights to the bare minimum. I’m lucky that I live in London and I get can trains and ferries. I know not everyone has that luxury. I am still eating meat because I’m not a perfect person.

We’re getting the windows double-glazed in the front room right now. And I’m also never far from a hot water bottle — I carry it around with me all day, every day.

I can scan any room and know where the toilets are without having to ask. Nine times out of 10, I’m right.

Horror films scare me. I think life is kind of terrifying enough as it is. Spiders too, but mainly horror films. My niece was in an independent horror film called Hansel and Gretel. I still haven’t watched it.

I feel like, particularly as women, you walk around in fear a lot of the time anyway. If I might feel like that walking home from a night out, I don’t want to feel like that watching a movie.

The obvious thing, if I took a different fork in the road — I might have been living in Ireland where I would probably have a wonderful life but I wouldn’t have met my husband or had my daughter.

We met online actually — on Guardian Soulmates. I could write [dating] apps into stories but I haven’t found a way to do it — I keep relying on the good old-fashioned misconnections.

It was fairly early days for online dating. It turns out at the time I was working as a copywriter, just around the corner from him. We were an eight-minute walk away from each other but we had never met.

Ultimately, I’m pretty happy with my decisions.

• This Year’s For Me and You (Penguin) by Emily Bell is out now.