Maïa Dunphy: The greatest challenge I've faced is becoming a single parent and losing my mum

Maïa Dunphy: The person I’d turn to most was always my mum. We lost her to cancer earlier this year, and I miss her so terribly.

My parents moved to a house in Dalkey, south county Dublin, the week before I was born.

I grew up for the most part there, with an older brother, younger sister, and a conveyor belt of lovely pets. We moved to Paris for a couple of years when I was 7, which was a brilliant experience at that age.

My earliest memory is peering into a cot in a hospital, seeing my little sister, and thinking she was the greatest thing I’d ever seen. And then planning the novelty clothes I’d dress her in.

I don’t think anyone is born for a specific reason, but rather we are all products of our upbringing, the opportunities we’re given, and our personality type. I don’t buy into the idea of fate, as it negates the choices and decisions we make.

The greatest challenge I’ve faced is becoming a single parent and losing my mum. 

You can’t bang on about it too much, as people get bored, but no one really appreciates the difficulties around single parenting. You can’t nip out for forgotten milk or school lunch ingredients without bringing everyone in the house with you. 

Maïa Dunphy: My son is my proudest achievement; I hope I’m doing a good enough job for him.

You can’t do anything before school starts or take it in turns to do drop offs, or weekend sports. Going out in the evening always requires a babysitter, and trying to work anything other than regular hours is problematic.

Of course I wouldn’t swap it for the world, but sometimes people say things like; “just take some time to yourself, go to a yoga class or meet a friend for dinner” and they don’t realise these things aren’t possible without another adult around. You are always the safety net.

Oh, and I once brought a load of tins on a camping trip but forgot to bring a tin opener, which was a pretty huge challenge.

My son is my proudest achievement; I hope I’m doing a good enough job for him. He’s the greatest person I’ve ever known. He makes parenting so pleasant that I don’t mind the things I can’t do anymore.

He’s more like a sensible, middle-aged flatmate to be honest; he likes peace and quiet and prefers a lie in to pretty much anything else! And he’s only 7. We go on lots of trips and adventures together, and I love them all.

I hope I’m kind. Also, I will eat almost anything, which makes me a very good guest.

The person I’d turn to most was always my mum. We lost her to cancer earlier this year, and I miss her so terribly. My Dad is a great listener though, and a brilliant man for sound advice.

The sooner in life you realise no one else really gives a shite, the happier you will be. I think many of us worry too much about what we think other people might be thinking about us.

Once I don’t die in some really embarrassing way that people chuckle about forever, I’ll be happy enough for one or two people to raise a glass on my birthday.

If I could change one thing from my past? The haircut I got in 1988. I brought a photo of a Dynasty actress 20 years my senior, and came out with what could only be described as a spiked mullet. Obviously I’m being flippant about wishing I’d done anything differently in life, because I believe regret is the most futile of all human emotions, and unless something can be rectified, or needs to be apologised for, I do my absolute best to avoid it. There’s enough to worry about!

Since the first season of What Planet Are You On? I have learned so much. I have vastly reduced my red meat intake, and make a concerted effort to avoid single-use plastics and unnecessary packaging. I am much more careful with water, and how we consume energy in our home.

These are all manageable things for me. I’m fortunate that I live in the city, so don’t need a car, but I accept that for many people that isn’t an option. 

But, I do think some us will have to make more changes than others, and that’s okay once it doesn’t vastly affect quality of life. We have to apply common sense to the measures we take, and look after the more vulnerable.

My greatest skill is leaving a party without anyone noticing. It’s quite a skill.

People surprise me, for the right or wrong reasons, and unfortunately the latter are the ones that you tend to remember! Acts of kindness shouldn’t surprise us, [but] it’s lovely when they do.

Losing the people I love scares me, or my son losing me.

I never think about forks in the road gone by. It’s the same as considering the things in your past you would change. Every choice and decision we make is for a reason, and under whatever circumstances we’re in at that time.

• What Planet Are You On? with presenter Maia Dunphy airs on RTÉ One this Tuesday to Thursday at 7pm.