Deborah Somorin: 'I was homeless at 13, pregnant at 14 — now I want to help others in need'

Deborah Somorin has a story that would defeat most but against all odds she is a shining light in the world. She tells us about her books, her charity and her family

Deborah Somorin, author. Photographs: Moya Nolan

Every once in a while there is a story that stops you in your tracks. Deborah Somorin’s story is one of those.

When a difficult relationship with her mother broke down, Deborah became homeless for the first time at age 13.

Moved from group home to hostel and locked into her room for safety, Deborah was eventually moved to Dún na nÓg, a residential care home and a place where she finally felt at home.

When she was 14 she became pregnant and gave birth to her son Liam at 15. Despite all the odds against her, Deborah persevered. She is now a qualified accountant, a management consultant with Ernst & Young and the founder of an official housing body that will soon provide safe, secure accommodation for single mums who want to stay in education.

This month she releases not one, but two books with Gill. The first, Believing in Me, is a memoir, the story of her time in care, living in homelessness and fighting to secure a bright future for her and her son and the second, I Believe in You, is a children’s picture book with a powerful message.

Writing her memoir was a hugely emotional experience for Deborah but it was something she really wanted to do to highlight what living in care is like for a child in Ireland.

“I cried a lot when I was writing the book. I always go into these things thinking, ‘Oh, I know that it will be hard, but it will be fine’, so I didn’t expect to cry as much I did, but genuinely, the majority of times I sat down to write the book, I bawled. Writing about my mom was really, really hard, but it was really important to me to get that right.

“I didn’t want to start the story off from everything going wrong. I really wanted to begin by telling her story. I was trying to put myself in her shoes, going through her journey, which was really tough, but at the same time, it was therapeutic to be able to write about it in a way that I hoped would help other people.

“Most people have absolutely no idea what the care system is like here and that was another reason why I decided to write the book. I wanted to share the story of what it was like growing up in care, because I don’t think there are many books out there that talk about that journey. I think one of the reasons for that is because often when kids come out of care, they want to forget about it, they really don’t want to tell people they were ever in care, you want to leave it behind you, for it to be done.

“Even for me, when I went to college, I very much wanted to shut that door behind me as much as possible, so a lot of my friends wouldn’t have known what my teenage years were like.

“When I first started to share my story, I remember a couple of people that were in care with me messaged and said ‘Jesus, I wouldn’t have even wanted anyone to know. You’re so brave for even wanting to come out with your story.’ I think there’s an element of just wanting to move on with your life when you come out of care.”

Deborah Somorin: "the majority of times I sat down to write the book, I bawled." Photograph Moya Nolan

Deborah’s story is so inspiring because you can clearly see what happens when children who grow up in care are supported and given a chance. Where you end up living can feel like a lottery and while Deborah feels so lucky to have found a home in Dún na nÓg, she knows only too well that there are thousands of children here who don’t get that same chance.

“I think everyone who works in the system thinks they’re doing the best, but it’s like company culture, it’s the tone from the top in terms of how they view the children, and if they view them as human beings, and how empathetic, and compassionate they are towards them, that’s what really makes a difference.

“In Dún na nÓg I was finally somewhere where people treated me like a human being, and it felt like they cared about me.

“When you hear people say, that young homeless people are just trying to game the system to get something free I want to scream. Do you know how horrific it is to live in homeless accommodations? Do you know how horrible you feel as a mother if your baby is in homeless accommodation? Like who the hell wants to live in a hotel?

“All I really wanted was compassion, empathy and someone who would try to do the right thing, that’s all it came down to. When I was writing the book I went back through all of the emails I sent when I was trying to fight for the chance to go to college and I could see that it was all just so much more difficult than it needed to be.”

Even with the support of the team in Dún na nÓg, turning 18 meant that Deborah would need to leave, something most teenagers don’t have to think about.

“It was a hugely scary thing. Knowing how much support my friends got in college, they still went home, got their dinners, got their clothes washed for them, everything. It’s just really hard for people to understand dumping their kids off at 18 at student accommodation, and saying OK, now you’re on your own because you still need support, you’re not a grown-up when you’re 18.

“The scariest thing for me was the fact that I knew all my support was going to be gone, I knew that was coming. I had this little boy that I had to look after, and I really wanted to go to college, and it didn’t seem like the system was supportive of that which was really, really stressful. The worry for me was that we would end up in a cardboard box. I was terrified that I wouldn’t have been able to support Liam, and we wouldn’t have been OK.

“I wouldn’t have been able to do things that I knew that I had the ability to do, and I had the determination to do. I think it’s also just really frustrating, because when you’re talking to people about all these things that you’re going to do, sometimes they look at you like, oh God, you’re too damaged to be able to get through this.

“People automatically think that they shouldn’t bother with this kid because she’s probably going to fail and that’s really frustrating. So much of writing this book for me is to show what happens when you support those kids, those kids that you think aren’t going do anything with their lives. This is how they turn out if you actually just help them.”

Deborah Somorin: "...there’s an element of just wanting to move on with your life when you come out of care." Photograph Moya Nolan

Deborah lights up when asked about Liam who is 13 now. She beams with pride when she describes her kind, handsome young man.

“He’s very excited about the book and to get all dressed up for the launch. He’s really proud of me, a couple of his friends stumbled on my story online and he loves it. He loves talking about me. I brought him to a couple of talks I did because he has had a lovely upbringing, goes to a lovely school in a lovely area and I wanted him to understand that that’s not the situation for everybody. I want him to know too how far we’ve come because we’ve come a long way.”

The rest of Deborah’s family are proud of her too and all she has achieved.

“I tried not to talk too much about my siblings in the book, out of respect for them, their lives and their own privacy. They haven’t read the book yet but I think my baby brother in particular is really proud of me and I think they’re all OK with it. They’re happy for me. They’ve been supportive of everything I’ve done so far, and we absolutely adore each other, we’re all we have.”

Deborah has a lot on her plate at the moment. Her books are about to be released, she has a very demanding day job and her charity, Empower the Family Ireland, is moving swiftly towards their first housing project.

“We have incredible contractors who gave us about €750,000 of pro bono services to get us off the ground and so we have planning ready to be launched. We have a site and the backing of DCC and counsellors. Hopefully it will be a success and we can start to help those who need a home.The issue is not that there isn’t a fund for social housing, the issue is we don’t have enough people wanting to build it because it’s not affordable or beneficial. I want to change that.”

Raising a 13-year-old on her own, shining in a demanding career and actively fighting for a better life for women and children who struggle to find support feels like just the tip of the iceberg for Deborah Somorin, the most impressive woman I’ve met in years.