Bernard O'Shea: What's in a name? Getting left behind or taking a lover in Urlingford

Having a baby soon? You might spare a thought for Bernard. Ah, go on...

It's how you say the name that counts. I like to think of everyone in a Dundalk accent; it's easier than using a mnemonic device. 

Have you ever considered your name? Do you like it? Have you ever thought about changing it? Would you be adamant about passing it on to your children? Will you leave all your worldly possessions to that favourite niece or nephew who has had the good fortune to have the same name? Do you get annoyed when people forget it, or worse still, call you something entirely different?

For good reasons or bad, the first question we're generally asked by government officials, future partners, game show hosts, and police is: "What's your name?" It's one of the first things we learn as a child. It is with us for our life, yet we don't choose it.