Dáithí Ó Sé: People say I talk for a living, actually, I listen for a living

Daithí O'Sé, in his role as the host of the Rose of Tralee. Picture: Dominick Walsh

I grew up out the country, about seven miles west of Dingle in a place called Ballydavid in West Kerry. It was a Gaeltacht area, there was no differentiation for me between speaking English and Irish. I did both naturally. I spoke Irish to my father and English to my mother. I remember a big rule in school that you weren't allowed to speak English — we were never going to speak English anyway.

I have two brothers and two sisters: my eldest brother Kevin is a teacher, my brother Danny is a butcher in Supervalu and Marianne works down in Cork. My sister Deirdre was living in Pennsylvania but sadly passed away about 20 years ago. We had a good ol time growing up. It was a small house, a three and a half bedroomed house, and during the summer two of those rooms were given to eight students learning Irish. Myself and my siblings were all thrown into the sitting room for the summers. There was no hurling or rugby — it was all céilís and football. 

My earliest memory is my mother leaving me in preschool. I was probably three or four. I'll never forget it. I didn't want her to go, I didn't want her to leave me. She told me she was going across to the shop to get me some Juicy Fruits. And she never came back. I still say to her, 'you owe me a pack of Juicy Fruits'.

I never had anything earmarked for me, high up or low down. I was teaching when the TG4 weather job came along... it fell into my lap. Somebody asked me would I be interested and any young teacher reading this will know the pay isn't great when you're starting out, so I thought okay I probably need to subsidise this. So that's what I did. I was doing both for about a year and after that, I took a full-time job on TV.

I think I've taken a different fork in the road. The straightforward fork would have been teaching. If I could go back, I think I'd do the same thing because I can't knock the job that I have — but I also would have liked to be an electrician or a plumber. That's where the money is now. If I was doing my Leaving Cert now, everyone is going on about tech, but everyone has to poop and drink water.

The biggest challenge I've faced in my life is being a parent. There's no rulebook. There's no situation the same as anybody else. You can overthink it, sometimes. And, there's something happening all the time. Just when you think you can sit down and have a mug of tea, something else happens. 

But, my proudest achievement is my young fella, Mícheál Óg. He's eight now. I am passing the language on to him, I am passing music on, sport on to him, and he's liking it — which means I am doing something right. We went to Croke Park the other day to see Kerry play and before he went to bed that night he said, 'Thanks Dad for a great day'. You're doing something right when he says things like that to you.

I think my greatest quality is that I listen to people, and I can empathise. People say I talk for a living, I actually don't, I listen for a living.

Daithí Ó Sé with his wife Rita Talty

My wife — and former Rose — Rita Talty is the person I turn to when something is wrong, but to be honest I am a bit of a lone ranger in that respect. I usually go to her when the problem is almost sorted. I don't want her worrying about things.

The life lesson I would pass on is you can only sleep in one bed every night. I was working weekends before the pandemic, and then during the pandemic, I got my weekends back and I thought, 'this is what I have been missing out on...'. I'd also say, if you're cranky as hell in your 20s and 30s, you will mellow out, don't worry about it.

The greatest advice I have ever been given was 'a pat on the back is six inches from a kick up the arse'. The second a fella pats you on the back and tells you you're the greatest man in the world, you are fantastic, somebody will come and try to knock you down. 

I would like to be remembered as a good father and a good husband. I've enjoyed every bit of being on television, and when I finish up I am sure I'll tell you the same, but if people remember me for the TV, I hope they'll say 'oh yeah, he was on the television but he put his heart and soul into his family'. That's what's important.

What surprises me in life is people. You can know someone for a long time, and they turn out to be the biggest pain in the arse, and you think 'Jesus I never thought that of that person' and then equally, the person you taught was the biggest bollocks going, will turn around and do something exceptional and you'll think, 'Jesus, I had the wrong read of that person for a long time'. I swear to God that happens me about once a month. It's more the people you thought were a pain changing. You can't underestimate the good people do for each other.

Dáithí Ó Sé is supporting The Alzheimer Society of Ireland's Alzheimer’s Tea Day on May 5. Register for your pack at teaday.ie