Eleanor Tiernan: When your nephew is in Australia, it makes it harder to bond with him

I’ve handwritten letters. I've sent gifts. I’ve sung Blaa Blaa black sheep down the phone during our Facetime chats, but still I'm not little Jack's favourite. Grandad's got the top spot... for now.

Eleanor Tiernan

I”ve never been much of a one for relationship admin. I forget people’s birthdays. I’ve never organised a surprise party for anyone and contrary to the gender stereotype, I’ll be the one buying last-minute cards and flowers in a petrol station. Lately, however, there has been a family development that has meant that my lack of skills in this arena is kicking me in the ass.

Jack, my one and only niece/nephew, was born last June. He was two months premature. In the videos, my brother sent he looked so scrawny as to be barely human. His whole body seemed to shake any time he wasn’t wrapped tightly in swaddling. The doctors performed what they called a “startle test” where, while he was placed on a counter, let him fall back momentarily to assess how good his reflexes were. To my eyes it looked unnecessarily cruel but he said it was normal where he was. Anyway, I’d never seen any creature so in need of protection before. The only problem was that he was in Australia.