I rang the Posh Cousin there and said, what would your advice be to a Douglas Road Stunner who is having trouble with her nose? She said, tell her to lay off the marching powder. #NotAllDouglasRoadStunners
I rang the Russian embassy there and said, are ye thinking of invading Ballydesmond. The guy said, don’t be ridiculous – who in their right mind would want to get that close to Kanturk?
It’s a tricky one. I remember years ago My Conor and I were looking for a house-mate. He said, could I trust you with an Italian. I said, absolutely, I do a mean carbonara. He said, what about an Italian man? I said, they’re brilliant at carbonara as well. He said, Audrey, could I trust you alone in the house with an Italian man when I’m away on business? I said, Jesus no.
My cousin is a big fan of pub names, which is one step above stamp-collecting on the snooze front. I said, what would be a good name to attract Russians to a bar in Cork? He said, ‘C’mere Vladimir’.