‘It's so unfair. It's heartbreaking’: Pippa O'Connor Ormond opens up about miscarriage

Pippa O'Connor Ormond speaking about her miscarriage and pregnancy

Fashion and beauty entrepreneur Pippa O’Connor Ormond has spoken publicly for the first time about a miscarriage she had late last year.

O’Connor Ormond, who revealed her pregnancy news yesterday on Instagram, is expecting her third child with her husband Brian Ormond. Speaking in videos on her Instagram stories today, she thanked everyone who had offered her congratulations and shared her recent experience of miscarriage.

“We're just on cloud nine, Brian and I are so thrilled. We love babies. We always knew we wanted another baby. It never happened after Louis so we were kind of at peace with it and so happy with what we have. I'm grateful for what we have,” she says.

“I didn't want to be always wishing for another, but we always said if it happened, amazing. When it didn't happen for so long after Louis we thought, that's okay, we're fine with that. We're more than happy with what we have.

“And then last summer I got pregnant, which was the biggest shock. I literally could not believe it. And then unfortunately I had a miscarriage in October. I went for my second scan, and there was no heartbeat. I know so many people have been there and I know there's a lot of people watching this have just gone through this today or last week and we all know how common it is, unfortunately.” 

O’Connor Ormond says she feels there is still a stigma around speaking about pregnancy loss but is urging others who have experienced it to share their stories with others.

“I still think it's unsaid and to be honest, I don't even know when or if I'd have said it if I wasn't lucky enough to be pregnant again now. I suppose we don't want to show vulnerability and I personally don't want to feel sad. But I know how I thought at the time and how I wanted to hear someone else say ‘that happened to me’. You know you want to be able to relate to someone.

“I'm so conscious of not wanting to upset people. I'm sharing my own story and I just wanted to be truthful about what I went through because you can look at Instagram, someone's sharing their lovely news and it can look like everything is perfect all the time but I can guarantee you that everyone has been through something along the way.

We all know that these things are common, but it's amazing: until I said it to a few people, even people that are close to me, I didn't know that the same thing had happened to them until I told them about me. It just made me feel so much better to hear them say ‘that happened to me as well’.

“After that, I had to have a D&C and I remember waiting and I was just on my phone and looking like hashtags on Instagram and Googling things to get my head around it, I'd never even heard of a missed miscarriage. It made me feel better when I came across people online or people in my own life that said, ‘I know that’s shit and I'm really sorry’. You want to hear someone say, ‘I'm sorry and I know how it feels’.

“I can only imagine what it feels like to go through that multiple times because I know unfortunately that so many women face this on multiple occasions. It's so unfair. It's heartbreaking.” 

She says she felt almost embarrassed when she learned about her miscarriage at her second scan but says a kind nurse helped her be more kind to herself at such a vulnerable time.

“It definitely is being spoken about a little bit more, which is really healthy and comforting to see, but I think it definitely is still a stigma. The day I was told that when I went in for the scan, my first reaction was, ‘okay, that's fine’. I just leapt up out of the bed and I just wanted to get out of there. I did not want any comfort, I was nearly embarrassed, which sounds so silly but that's how I reacted anyway.

“When I was in Holles Street, this lovely nurse said to me, ‘Pippa, it doesn't matter if you have six babies at home or none. A loss is a loss and it's okay to feel sad.’ That sentence really stuck with me and helped me. A part of me was saying, ‘it's fine, cop on, you have two kids’, and I am well aware of all the struggles that so many people face to even try and have one. I was being hard on myself for being sad. You have the right to feel sad and to grieve a loss, no matter what stage of pregnancy that you're at.” 

She says she hopes more women will talk to each other about miscarriage and offer each other comfort and support in a shared experience.

“If you haven't said anything about your own loss or what you're going through or your struggles to anyone if you say it to even one or two people you would feel so much better about it and I think you might be surprised as to what you hear back from people as well.” 

O’Connor Ormond says she felt uncomfortable about revealing her pregnancy but hiding news of her miscarriage and felt the urge to share her story in the hope it will help someone else.

“I hope that it can give a little bit of comfort to anyone sad or struggling at the moment. Thank you again for all the love yesterday. It was niggling in my mind, it was important for me to just talk about what we had been through because it just didn't feel right for me to not say anything.

“I really hope that I haven't upset anyone. My intention is to obviously do the opposite, and to help and encourage people to talk about their own feelings and what they're going through. So I hope that I've done that a little bit.”