'How much did your new lips cost?' Ask Audrey on the trends of 2021

Our favourite agony aunt and influencer looks into her expensive branded crystal ball to see what's going to happen next year, like

Ask audrey

I just had a look back at the predictions I did for 2020. I’m going to put my hands up now and say I might have missed one or two big events. Emer Cronin-Buckley managed to hold on to a boyfriend — in fairness, no-one saw that coming. And now I’m after hearing they have a farmers' market in Ballyphehane. Has the world gone mad? Probably.

Anyway, I’m not going to make an eejit of myself with another list of rosy predictions. So, let me start by saying the new cycle lanes on the southside are a waste of money  —  water levels will rise so quickly in early 2021, that the most valuable property in Cork City will be at the top of Gurranabraher. I’ve just bought a place up there myself  —  without a viewing, obviously, because the last thing I need coming up to Christmas is a dose of the norry flu. I don’t have a date for moving yet, but it will definitely be before June 8 , because that’s when Olly Murs is playing Live at the Marquee, and you can hear the ‘singing’ in my house when the wind is coming off the river. Tom Jones is playing on June 2 , but there’s no point in moving in late May just to avoid the horny norry grannies, because I’ll be surrounded by them above in Gurran. No offence to horny norry grannies, but you know yourself.