Bressie wants us to chill and teach children to do the same

The mental health advocate opens up to Martha Brennan about how he deals with anger and the importance of teaching children about difficult emotions.

Niall Breslin - Photo by Ruth Medjber

We’ve all been getting used to things recently. For some, it’s not-so-secretly wearing pajama bottoms during meetings or getting to know your local delivery man by name.

For Bressie, it’s getting used to being called Niall again, as he edges on week 29 back home in his childhood bedroom.

“It’s been wonderful,” says Niall Breslin, better known as Bressie, mental health advocate and The Blizzards frontman. “It’s good to be back in Mullingar right now. There’s an element of safety in it.” 

It’s almost augural that his new children’s book is being released while he is surrounded by reminders of his own childhood, and that it comes as we enter into the first full week of Level 3 restrictions.

“This particular book looks at anger,” Bressie says, “Which is very normal, yet we’re taught to avoid difficult emotions. But you can’t, they’re a part of life.” 

The Chill Skill is the third in a series of picture books that teach young children how to deal with and express different emotions.

“When you react in anger, it's never going to have a good outcome," Bressie explains. "It's about what you can do to stop those little bursts becoming a problem.” 

Bressie doesn’t have children himself but has worked with kids extensively through his charity A Lust for Life and often looks to his young nephew to see how a child navigates the world.

“My generation was destroyed by stigma, some of my mates still can’t discuss their emotions."

"We keep waiting until adults become adults before we think to talk about this. It’s our responsibility to teach children how to navigate and not avoid emotion.” 

So how has Bressie been navigating his emotions lately? With a pint of ice cream and box of rosé in hand like the rest of us?

“I’m having those days where I’m grand and those days where I’m utterly frustrated by it. It’s the uncertainty of it all. We need to stop pretending this is easy. It’s not.” he says.

“What’s really killing me is the political stuff where people are just ripping each other apart.” 

“Our politicians are spending more time arguing than actually doing stuff. They need to show leadership, and I just don’t think it’s happening right now. It’s hard to watch.” 

Bressie’s parents are both over 70, and he sadly lost an uncle earlier this year to Covid-19, so it’s easy to see why he can get frustrated with people not taking responsibility right now.

“Personal responsibility comes into everything. We can look at Government and we can look at everything else but the way we behave is on us.” 

“People will go ‘well I’m not wearing a mask because some stupid politician went up and played golf,’ that’s got nothing to do with it. If a politician decides to do that, they're absolutely wrong but it doesn’t give you the right to be wrong as well.” 

However, like Sam in The Chill Skill, he’s finding ways to be calm in his reactions.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Irish Examiner (@irish_examiner)

“People got so angry with the ones off in Ibiza in the hype of it, but I was just like ‘their choice, leave them at it.' Do I agree with it? Absolutely not. But that’s their value system and my value system has nothing to do with that.” 

Over the years, he’s trained himself to control his reactions when online anger like that is turned on him.

“I used to get angry,” he says. “But I’ve replaced my anger for empathy. If somebody says something negative and you immediately hit back, there’s no growth in that.

“But if you take a space, take ten breaths, let your brain slow down...and I’ve done this so many times, reply back ‘I hope everything is ok for you’, you diffuse that person.”

“People keep using the words empathy and throwing a hashtag in front of it and think that’s them covered. That’s not empathy, that’s a hashtag.”

“We need to find a better way to hold conversations. Telling people their opinion doesn't count, that doesn't progress society.” 

I note this down as I begin to tell Bressie my own opinion, which is odd to profess to a phone from my bedroom, that I don’t think he seems like the type of person that would enjoy being in the public eye and its repercussions.

“That’s the exact reason that I stepped away from TV,” he replies, thankfully still on the line.

“It just wasn’t what I wanted. I went from being relatively nobody to being on prime-time television with The Voice, and I wasn’t ready for it and I wasn't able for it and it’s something I really struggle with.”

Bressie says it would take something he's very passionate about to bring him back to primetime TV.

“There’s an element of ownership the public has over you and I found that difficult. So, I made a very active decision not to seek it out anymore."

"I knew then at that point that my real goal, having gone what I went through, was to drive some societal change.” 

Bressie has been very open about his struggles with anxiety and depression and has used his platform to try to open up the conversation on mental health in Ireland.

“I watched a country with a very dark history, and a lot of shame and pain, that wasn’t able to show it or repress it and I had enough of it.”

So, he started to talk, began a charity, a podcast, wrote children’s books and decided to return to academia.

Does President Higgins need a successor perhaps?

“If the public eye is there, it’s not because I want to be in it," he says. "I’m actively doing the work I want to do; it’s education, it’s philanthropy and it’s music and that is my life now.”

On the music front, nothing much can happen for The Blizzards right now, though they are working on a new EP. 

“Whatever we’re doing we’re doing it in vain,” Bressie says. “Straight out, if the only source of income was the band we’d be in serious trouble right now."

"I look at all of these highly skilled people and it’s heartbreaking to see. Bands need to play live music to make money. It’s a circle, once part one is removed the whole thing is thrown on its head."

"It’s a reality that many industries are in but we were the first to close and we’ll be the last to open and we don’t see any roadmap. There are some grants but I hope Government and society now see how important the arts are. Imagine what this whole pandemic would be like without them."

Along with music and the books, newspapers, radio and a lot of TV is what's getting Bressie through the pandemic. You’d be forgiven for thinking he might ignore the media, especially recently, but he’s a big fan of good journalism. Hint, hint.

"Journalism is so essential in society. It holds those in power to account and instead of giving out about it we need to value why it’s so important.”

“If we lose trust in our institutions, society really struggles to function. People are angry right now and they’re looking for someone to blame.” 

“But we need to remain collective. We're in a sh*tshow and need to get through it, without ripping each other limb from limb.”

The Chill Skill (€16.99) comes out October 16th with an accompanying podcast, Niall Breslin's Mindful Moments for Children streaming from October 12th on Youtube, Spotify and all major podcast services.

Bressie's top five tips for getting through the pandemic

If you’re not overwhelmed right now, there’s something wrong. Being stressed is a very rational reaction to what we’re going through and we’re all experiencing it. 

As Bressie says, “No one on this island is going ‘this is great!’ but there’s shared humanity in that.” 

Here are some things he recommends for trying to ease it.

• Get off Instagram: “What you don’t need is to be looking at someone's highlight reels and feeling bad about yourself for sitting on the couch. I had to clean up after my dog this morning when I went down for breakfast and help my Dad paint the garage in the pissing rain. That’s reality.” 
• Focus on getting through your day: “Getting out of bed, getting the kids to school, having a tea, watching Emmerdale, whatever it is you do is enough.”
• Don’t do anything with your spare time if you don’t want to: “You don’t need to run a marathon or learn a language. We need to just be right now and get through this."
• Seek out your friends: Friendship is so important right now and you won’t find it online. Pick up the phone and hit the call button instead.
• And most importantly, remember: “This will end and we will get through it.”