Colman Noctor: How parents can help screen out extremist content online

A new survey from the Ombudsman for Children’s Office (OCO) reveals. More than 600 young people across Ireland were asked about extremist views, discrimination, and traditional gender expectations. The figures are stark, but not unexpected for those of us who work with adolescents.

EVERY generation of parents has its own worries. In the past, the fretting was over video nasties, messy bedrooms, and too much television. Today, parents fear that their teenagers are being exposed to extreme views online; that society’s growing polarisation is quietly entering teenage bedrooms through smartphones.

These concerns are justified, a new survey from the Ombudsman for Children’s Office (OCO) reveals. More than 600 young people across Ireland were asked about extremist views, discrimination, and traditional gender expectations. The figures are stark, but not unexpected for those of us who work with adolescents. Some 60% of young people said they encounter extremist views online. That’s 10 times the number who hear such views in person, suggesting that the online world does not always reflect real life. However, 25% said their friends hold views they would consider extreme, and 70% believe discrimination — racism, sexism, and xenophobia — is a significant issue in Ireland today.

These statistics don’t just spark concern about social cohesion; they prompt more profound questions about our children’s wellbeing. Teenagers are developing in a world of divisive opinions algorithmically amplified.

In my clinical work, I meet young people who carry a constant hum of anxiety about the world, mostly from navigating online spaces where outrage is rewarded, nuance is rare, and extreme voices are platformed as entertainment. Popularity is more influential than truth.

International research highlights the mental-health impact of viewing this content. A 2025 European Parliament and Europol report states that exposure to extremist content, even passively, can increase fear, confusion, and hopelessness in adolescents, especially when they lack supportive spaces to process what they are seeing. A recent systematic review noted that young people exposed repeatedly to polarised or aggressive online conversations report higher levels of stress, emotional exhaustion, and difficulty trusting others.

Radicalising young minds

When 80% of young people tell us, as they did in the OCO survey, that they regularly hear negative comments about immigration or housing, and 60% feel pressure to conform to ‘traditional’ gender roles, we can almost feel the emotional weight settling on their shoulders. These are not abstract political debates; they are propaganda attempts to radicalise young minds, which can leave them feeling worried, guilty, angry, or withdrawn. This noise is now part of their psychological landscape.

One notable finding in the OCO report is that 64% link extremist views to boys and young men, and 50% believe boys are more targeted by extreme content online. It’s easy to assume young men go looking for extremist content.

In reality, the content looks for them by showing up uninvited through recommendations, viral posts, or algorithm-driven feeds that reward outrage and division, identifying and exploiting the vulnerabilities and interests typical of young male users.

The OCO finding that boys are more affected by extremist content aligns with observations made by researchers from the US to Scandinavia, who have found that young men are consistently more likely to be drawn into online channels that promote misogyny, hyper-aggression, or rigid ‘traditional’ gender ideologies.

Groups spreading these messages employ tactics carefully tailored to adolescent vulnerabilities, offering a sense of belonging, certainty, or simple explanations for complex frustrations.

Misogynistic influences can cause significant psychological harm. Some boys internalise shame or confusion; others adopt these views as personal markers of identity, well before they develop the critical thinking skills to question them, which they typically do not until late adolescence or young adulthood.

Crucially, these pressures do not only affect boys. Girls in secondary schools report feelings of anxiety, frustration, and fear in response to the outdated gender norms that portray them as inferior or restricted.

Parents often say to me, ‘But my son is a good boy, he wouldn’t fall for this stuff?’ and they’re right; he probably is a good boy. But good boys can still be vulnerable to manipulative messaging when they are lonely, anxious, overwhelmed, or simply 14.

The OCO study indicates that extremism is not solely an online issue; it also influences conversations at home and among peers. Teenagers often tell me they want more education about the online world, not just warnings, but honest discussions. They need spaces where they can ask difficult questions, challenge views safely, and make sense of the world without fear of being labelled. However, some young boys feel there are no such spaces in the real world, and so the fear of offending someone keeps them silent.

Parental guidance

Parents can support their children in having open conversations about the views they are forming. You don’t need to be an expert in geopolitics or algorithms — you just need to be available, curious, empathetic, and calm.

The good news from the OCO study is that 50% of the students said their parents remain their most significant influence. That is a powerful statistic and a reassurance that, despite the tsunami of content coming at our teenagers, parental voices matter more than we often believe.

So, how can parents maintain this influence on their child’s social values?

You can start by creating a home where questions are always welcome. If teenagers feel judged for asking a question, they will stop asking.

And when they stop asking, they start relying on the internet for answers. So, keep the door open, even for conversations that feel uncomfortable.

Respond instead of reacting. If your teenager shares a troubling view they heard at school or online, avoid the instinct to shut it down immediately.

Instead, perhaps say: ‘That’s interesting, why do you think people say that?’ or ‘How does that make you feel when you hear it?’

Many teenagers think they are immune to manipulation. So framing online content as subtle, persistent, and persuasive digital peer pressure can help them see it as something to be aware of rather than something to be ashamed of.

Extremist narratives thrive on certainty. We need to let young people know that it’s OK not to have fixed opinions. In fact, it is psychologically healthier. One of the most critical communications to teenagers is to reinforce that ‘I don’t know yet’ is a legitimate position.

Preaching tolerance rarely works, but demonstrating it does. Remember, our children watch how we talk about neighbours, journalists, politicians, migrants, and even relatives, and they internalise our tone long before our words. Hence, we need to be mindful of our own thoughts and actions around them.

We need to recognise anxiety when it occurs. I’ve met many teenagers overwhelmed by a sense that society is ‘falling apart’ or that they must choose a side in every debate. Watch for signs of emotional overload, which can present as irritability, withdrawal, or obsessively following online controversies. When the world feels chaotic, our home needs to feel even more steady.

The OCO is right to call for governmental action, better regulation, and stronger protections. But change also begins around kitchen tables, in car journeys, and in quiet moments, usually late at night, when your teenager seems open to chat.

In a world where extreme voices are loud and constant, our calm, consistent presence as parents has never been more critical. Teenagers don’t need us to solve every societal issue. They need us to help them feel grounded and safe enough to navigate those issues on their own.

Connection is the vital force that can genuinely shield young minds from extremism, anxiety, and the creeping belief that the world is darker than it truly is.

So, talk. Listen. Stay empathetic and curious. And, above all, be the steady influence your teenager needs in a world that often feels anything but constant.

• Dr Colman Noctor is a child psychotherapist