Aoife Hearne: Clubs rewarding children with sweets can quickly turn sour

We have to teach our children how to eat them in small quantities and take the power away from forbidden foods. Eating well is not about avoiding ultra-processed foods, but about focusing on the pattern and variety of what we eat and the relationship we have with food.

My children, aged eight and 10, are rarely given sweets at home, but are often handed goodie bags after birthday parties. And if they win a match, they are nearly always rewarded with sweets. 

Naturally, my two scoff the lot. I don’t want to be a spoilsport, but I value my children’s dental health. Is there a tactful way to deal with this tricky situation?

This is, indeed, a tricky situation, and one I encounter a lot, in my professional life and as a mother of three primary-school children. While it is strongly recommended to limit high-sugar foods for children before the age of two, as they get older it’s part of our role as parents to teach them to enjoy these foods in small quantities, along with good dental hygiene practices.

I do not believe that children should be wholly restricted from what I like to call ‘fun foods’, otherwise known as ultra-processed foods or treats.

We have to teach our children how to eat them in small quantities and take the power away from forbidden foods. Eating well is not about avoiding ultra-processed foods, but about focusing on the pattern and variety of what we eat and the relationship we have with food.

Parents have a responsibility in shaping children’s relationship with food. It’s a relationship that will stay with them for the rest of their lives and will have the most significant impact on their long-term health.

However, as parents, we are really up against it. Everywhere we look, high-fat, high-sugar, nutritionally inadequate foods are being foisted upon our children and often without our consent. 

The knock-on effect is that parents have their hands tied. They want to enjoy a fun food with their children, on occasion, but someone else may have already given he children a sweet that day. 

All the sports and activities my children are involved in, and the activities in school, have rewarded them with foods high in fat and sugar. I appreciate that all of this is done with the best of intentions, and many sports clubs may feel under pressure to provide these treats because they have become the norm. But we can do better for our children.

Rewarding children with ultra-processed food, particularly for participating in sport, sends the wrong message and undermines the core values of health and attempts by many organisations to foster a healthy relationship with food for our young people.

Encouraging participation in sport, while normalising the consumption of ultra-processed foods, is not just contradictory, it is irresponsible. So, how do you start a conversation about the food environment surrounding children without sounding like the food police? There is no easy answer.

I encourage you to have an open and honest discussion with your sports teams and ask them to rethink their current approach.

Of course, rewards can help encourage children to stay involved in activities, but we need to be more innovative and think about non-food rewards that would actually be beneficial.

The practice of rewarding children with food is pervasive. This is not just one person or one parent’s challenge: It’s all of ours. If we want a healthier nation, where we live longer and better, we need to address this now, together.

If you are reading this and are part of a sports club, I urge you to reconsider rewarding children with fun foods, especially in the run-up to Christmas. It may seem like an easy, innocuous reward for participation. Still, the long-term message it sends is powerful: That effort and celebration must be tied to high-fat, sugary foods that children are already getting plenty of elsewhere and which negatively impact health.

One small change in one club creates a ripple effect. Be the change: Our children’s health depends on it.

• If you have a question for dietitian Aoife Hearne, please send it to [e-mail]