Aoife Hearne: My teen won’t eat unless I put food in front of him

While appetite fluctuations are normal, especially as exercise levels reduce, a sudden and abrupt drop off in appetite is unusual and warrants further investigation.

My 14-year-old son has lost his appetite, saying he’s not hungry. Unless I put food in front of him, he won’t eat. I keep the house well stocked with healthy snacks — nuts, hummus, and fruit — but nothing seems to make a difference. In desperation, I bought some chocolate-flavoured cereal, which he eats with milk. He used to be interested in sports in primary school, but has dropped out of club games in the past year. I’m not sure what to do.

Eating according to your own internal hunger and fullness signals is something I believe is very important to teach our children, and a healthy habit to adopt. However, as with everything in life, there is always an exception to every rule.

The teenage years are a time of exponential growth, and more often than not, they are accompanied by a strong appetite. While appetite fluctuations are normal, especially as exercise levels reduce, a sudden and abrupt drop off in appetite is unusual and warrants further investigation.

I understand how stressful this can be as a parent. I would recommend gently probing why his appetite has changed. It is not unusual for taste preferences to change during teenage years, so maybe an honest discussion regarding foods he would like to see offered at home more often would be a good place to start. There may need to be a compromise on both sides, in terms of real food versus processed food offerings, but I’m sure you can find a happy medium.

Here are some practical strategies you can try:

• Offer meals and snacks regularly: Often, teens can get distracted with activities and not notice hunger cues until food is offered. Keep mealtimes structured, especially at weekends or days not in school.
• Serve small portions: If it is just a temporary change in appetite in between growth spurts, large portions can seem overwhelming and turn off the desire to eat. Consider taking a ‘little and often’ approach to see if that helps.
• Aim to eat at least one meal each day together: Eating together allows for time to connect and also to explore reasons he may not want to eat or does not feel hungry. It is also a good opportunity to role model a healthy relationship with food and positive food messaging.
• Stock up on favourite foods: Even if these foods are higher in sugar and fat, they can help meet energy needs. Over time, you can team them up with some real food offerings, for example, adding fruit or nuts to chocolate cereal. Think about the best time to fit these in each day. You can also consider adding some familiar foods that he enjoys to other meals, such as lunch and dinner.
• Avoid pressuring: While it is good to have an honest conversation to understand what is behind this lack of appetite, I would avoid coaxing to eat at meal times. Research in the area with younger children suggests that this approach may backfire, leading children to eat less. Dietitian Ellyn Satter’s division of responsibility still applies to teenagers. Your job is to offer meals in a structured way; your child’s job is to eat them or not.

Of course, teenage years can be a turbulent emotional time, and we can’t ignore that some will have body image concerns, which can affect the volume of food consumed and food choices.

It would be sensible to consult your GP. They can assess your son’s general health and check for issues that may be contributing to a lack of appetite. A CORU registered dietitian can also provide personalised support.

• If you have a question for dietitian Aoife Hearne, please send it to [e-mail]