Joanna Fortune: What can I do about my anger issues? 

When the people who love and care for us are the same people who hurt and scare us, we can fuse feelings of love and fear, seeing them as the same

I was raised in an abusive household and have a lot of anger issues as a result. I am now the mother of three children, and I’m finding it hard to control my anger with the younger two. I’ve noticed that one has developed anger issues. What can I do?

I am so sorry that this was your experience as a child — you deserved better. When children grow up in abusive environments, it’s often assumed they turn against their parents. However, while this may happen in later life, children tend not to blame the parent they are dependent on. Instead, they blame themselves for provoking such a reaction from their caregivers.