Julie Jay: I often fantasise about a 'holiday' in hospital 

It is a scientific fact that most mammies only rest when under medical instruction to do so

In the final fortnight of pregnancy, I got the bug. Not the acting bug or the travelling bug, but the marginally more socially acceptable stomach bug, which proved to be the toughest 72 hours I put down while up the duff.

I am the distinct opposite of a hypochondriac and will generally only attend the GP if I fear my gaping wound might upset other members of the public.