Richard Hogan: Send your kids to work to make the most of summer

Richard Hogan. Photograph Moya Nolan

I remember those first moments of summer holidays, bursting out the doors of Rochestown College, freed from exams, and swinging on the bounty of hours ahead. 

The sun seemed young, illuminating my joy. Oh, the utter feeling of exhilaration and happiness. Farewell homework, chalk, and lunches.

Hello, sunshine, beaches, hanging around with friends, and living by your vagaries. Those three months seemed endless, a sinuous road winding on and on. 

But when I look back now almost 30 years later, what I really recall is those summer jobs I worked, the people I met, and the friends I made.

I’m sure, if you asked me at the time, I would have offered my right hand not to be getting up early and heading down to ‘Grattan Fireplace’ or heading off at 15 to ‘the showgrounds’ gathering results of each horse show.

But, I actually think, I did love it at the time. I’ve always loved getting up early and heading somewhere. I still do. But those summer jobs were some of the best days of my life. 

I remember the moment on my way to gather some horse result I met a girl, we chatted and kissed under the gigantic canopy of Páirc Uí Chaoimh. A golden memory. 

LOVE FROM LASER DISCS

Another summer job that lasted long after summer had faded was one of my favourites — working in Douglas Books in Douglas Village Shopping Centre.

Across the way in ‘Laser Discs’ was a girl who refused to look in and say ‘hi’. It was perplexing, to a vainglorious lout like myself. We ended up getting married and having three beautiful daughters. The not looking in, apparently, was a trick to get my interest.

It worked. And those days when I didn’t have work, and Romeo was silent, I’d feel like the day was wasted if I wasn’t off playing tennis with my neighbour Darragh Hogan at 8am, or up in Frankfield golf course hanging off the side of the world, or down in Rochestown practicing basketball or in Maryborough estate hanging around with friends and tormenting the locals.

Summer: It’s a magical time for children — or at least it used to be.

I meet so many parents this time of year apprehensively anticipating the summer holidays ahead, because they fear gaming is going to take hold of the family. So, the question I’m asking is: What will you do with the teenager rattling around your house this summer?

As I said, many parents fear summer because of the lack of control and structure they have over their child. Remember, an inverted hierarchy in a family is incredibly destructive and causes huge amounts of conflict. You want to avoid that from breaking out, at all costs. 

So, parents are the ones who decide how the summer is going to go, and what their teenager is going to do with all that time in their hands.

MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME

If you give a teenager the choice they will, more than likely, stay with what they are familiar with which is; home, games, and sleeping in. 

Of course, it is important that they have time off after the academic year, but if they do nothing for three months they will miss an opportunity to meet new people and develop their confidence. 

I think more than any other cohort of students, this particular group of teenagers need to go out there and work summer jobs.

They missed out on such important developmental experiences like going to the Gaeltacht, scouts, and local club groups; all these important summer activities were denied to them because of covid restrictions.

So, this massively impacted their sense of self and confidence. Going out to work this summer and meeting new people and dealing with difficult customers, are all really important experiences to develop their agency and autonomy.

GETTING BACK ON THE HORSE

When agency is depleted, children can be vulnerable to anxiety. When children shrink down their worlds to their house and rely on parents to satiate their negative feelings they can become stuck and develop the belief that they do not have the competency to meet unknown future events.

Now, that is the root of anxiety, and can really trap a child in a bind. The more they get out and meet new people and get that vital feedback about how they are perceived by others, the more they will start to see that they are powerful and have the ability to manage themselves in the world.

Summer jobs increase their friendship group, build their confidence, and develop their sense of agency in the world.

It also helps them to understand how difficult it is to make money and builds their appreciation for it as they begin to value what they buy with it. Summer jobs are an important rite of passage for children. This summer, help them to figure out what job they would like to do and get them out doing it.

It will be worth it in the long run — they may even meet their future partner.