Colman Noctor: How to raise a kind child — who is not a people-pleaser

The child who gets a reputation for being ‘good’ may interpret pressure to live up to this role all the time

Pic: iStock

We tell our children that being kind, thoughtful, and inclusive of others is important. But we also tell them to be strong, assertive, and to stand up for themselves, which can sometimes seem confusing. For example, we might encourage a child to be inclusive of a child from overseas who joins their class, while at the same time asking them to stand up to dominant peers who are bossy and dismissive.

It can be a tricky balance. We want our children to be reasonable and thoughtful, but not so much that they people-please.