Richard Hogan: Porn gives young boys ideas that girls are objects that enjoy being dominated

I work with wonderful teenage boys who are lost in pornography... I find myself becoming enraged sitting, hearing their isolation, and pain. Why do we not protect them from harmful content?

Richard Hogan: 'I have met too many families devastated by addiction to pornography not to write about it.' Picture: Moya Nolan

Last week I was invited to speak at Ruhama’s international conference on Breaking the silence of sexual violence and sexual exploitation of women in the Irish and global sex trade.

During the day we heard the story of prostitution through the eyes of survivors of the industry.

It was a powerful day hearing the lived experience of someone working in the Irish sex industry.

The majority of those women were trafficked into this country and sold into modern day slavery. Hard to imagine in 2022, but it is everywhere.

One of the most striking aspects of the day was the insight that pornography drives the prostitution industry.

I had never really thought about this before but as I sat there listening to the research I thought about my experiences in my clinic.

And I started to recall some of the conversations I had with middle aged men who spoke about their engagement with prostitution and how pornography was at the root of this activity.

I have been an advocate for action to prevent our children consuming pornography for a long time now. I can’t believe that we have zero safeguards in place to prevent our children from consuming damaging material.

Any conversation about pornography has to be embedded in the wider sociocultural context, because pornography propagates dangerous negative ideas about violence against women, consent and misogyny.

Far from satiating normal boyish sexual interest, pornography gives young boys ideas that girls are objects that like to have consent taken from them, and enjoy being restrained and physically dominated.

That is a terribly destructive and damaging message to allow our children to consume.

So, why have we not done something about it? Why in 2022, are our children able to just type in anything they want and it appears on their screen? Why?

I find myself so frustrated talking about this topic.

I work with wonderful teenage boys who are lost in pornography, the sadness in the room as we sit together and attempt to find a solution for how to stop consuming it is palpable.

I find myself becoming enraged sitting there, hearing their isolation, and pain. Why are we not protecting them from harmful content? We know it is addictive, exciting visual images impact the reward centre of the brain. So when a child consumes extreme material the brain releases dopamine, this is how addiction starts.

I have met too many families devastated by addiction to pornography not to write about it.

Last week I had a female client explain that she had to leave her husband because his addiction to pornography had destroyed his relationship with her and his children. She described him as a once loving father and husband who had been taken over by pornography.

Her story isn’t an isolated one. More and more families are experiencing trouble because of pornography. The earlier our children consume it, the more dangerous it is.

We would do anything to protect our kids out on the streets, but our children are being left roam the streets of the internet without any safeguards, it is just baffling to me and beyond comprehension.

This is bigger than just a parenting issue, we need the Government to step up here and protect its most vulnerable citizens.

At the very least we should make children put their email into these platforms, this way children would feel they are being watched and it would stop younger children from consuming it.

That is just a quick solution but we need robust legislation to stop the ease at which children are consuming pornography.

I have had far too many conversations with teenage girls in recent years who described some of the terrible things their boyfriends asked for in that relationship.

Those boys could have only come to those ideas through exposure to hardcore extreme material.

When I was a young boy growing up in the 1980s in Douglas, Cork, if I wanted to consume pornography (which wasn’t even in our heads) I’d have to go to the local shop and ask my local shopkeeper for a top shelf magazine.

Today, with the arrival of ubiquitous internet and the proliferation of smartphones, hardcore pornographic content is only ever one click away from our children.

I have worked in schools where children as young as eight years old consumed very troubling material.

It’s not like we don’t have case studies in this country to back up the research.

Boy A in the Ana Kriégel case had consumed bestiality and BDSM material on his phone and computer.

Research is clear on this topic: consuming hardcore material warps a person’s view of intimacy, it dehumanises girls and gives messages to boys that violence against women is a bit of harmless fun. That is not something we can turn away from as parents.

We have change our idea that boys viewing pornography is just boys being boys, because the reality is hardcore extreme material is satiating that natural developmental curiosity. That is not to be taken lightly.