Julie Jay: Ted’s recent phase of eating my phone means most calls end in a Moby Dick-like terror

"Ted draws on a wall and I go to clean it off but as I do, my mother shoos me away: "That will be worth money one day," she says."

Comedian Julie Jay, from Brandon, West Kerry pictured at her home.

Julie Jay

COMEDIAN

Ted loves his grandparents very much, and though we don’t get to see them on the daily, the advent of FaceTime has meant they are but a speed-dial away. That said, Ted’s recent phase of eating my phone means most of these conversations end in a Moby Dick-like terror for my parents as they are swallowed up into a mouth full of toddler teeth. From about four months, Ted has had a full set of comedian Rob Beckett gnashers, and while I am exceptionally proud of his pearly whites, I feel a kiss rather than an incisor should be what we are working towards as a sign-off.