Scaling Ireland's highest peaks in aid of charity supporting adult survivors of child sexual abuse

Jack Fitzgerald is climbing our seven highest peaks in seven days to support a charity that helped him come to terms with the sexual abuse he experienced as a child 

Jack Fitzgerald who experienced sexual abuse as a child.

Kerryman Jack Fitzgerald is training to climb seven of Ireland’s highest peaks in seven days. The 28-year-old fitness coach is starting on May 25 to raise funds for One in Four, a charity that supports adult survivors of child sexual abuse.

Fitzgerald is one of those survivors. Between the ages of five and 10, he was sexually abused. Two and a half years ago, on his Instagram profile, he wrote about how the abuse had shaped his life.

“That was the very first time I said it openly. Even a lot of my friends found out that way,” he says.

By posting publicly, he wanted to talk about what happened to him without having to have the upsetting conversation time and time again.

This open disclosure came after two years in therapy at One in Four.

“The training they get and the support they can offer is different from going to a regular counsellor, who has much more general training.

“It’s such a delicate subject, it needs so much understanding, and time and care. The team at One in Four really understand that.”

It took Fitzgerald six months in counselling to feel secure enough to talk about what had happened to him. 

“My counsellor was so patient with me. And once I was able to access what had happened, and we broke through the defences I’d put up, the door opened. But then, you open that first door, and there are 70 other doors behind it, and then they open, which can feel overwhelming, but you have to work through it. Unfortunately, you don’t have a choice.”

Jack Fitzgerald plans to climb the seven highest mountains in Ireland over seven days in aid of the charity, One in Four. Picture: Moya Nolan

He hadn’t realised how deeply his childhood trauma was affecting him until he had counselling. “Looking back now, the way I lived, how I viewed the world, how I viewed myself, and my lack of trust in people, all stemmed from that time. I didn’t realise that until afterwards.

“I’ve always felt this massive disconnect from people, like my childhood best friends, who were still my childhood best friends, but in the last two or three years, for the first time, I’m fully there when I’m with them. I feel I can fully let people in to my life.”

Before seeking help at One in Four, he had been in and out of counselling, including inpatient care at psychiatric hospitals, since he first tried to take his own life, at age 16. He made two further attempts and had engaged in self-harm since he was nine; the incidents of self-harm became increasingly aggressive.

“When you experience something like child sex abuse, you’re conditioned by the grooming, by society, by everything, to believe that the only way to stay safe from it is to keep it buried.

“So I thought, ‘If I don’t speak about it, then the trauma doesn’t come in to my teenage years, it doesn’t come in to my 20s, it doesn’t come in to my 30s, when the reality was it was in every facet of my life.

“I didn’t realise at the time, because when you’re living through this, it’s your normal.”

Fitzgerald first became aware of One in Four at age 24. A friend had witnessed him experiencing a flashback—his jaw locked, and his back and shoulders tensed dramatically.

“He knew there was something very wrong and had his suspicions about what happened to me. He showed me the One in Four website and encouraged me to contact them.

“I was really struggling. And I was at the point where I thought, ‘I actually don’t think I’m going to make it much longer’. I was in this cycle of super, super highs and super, super lows. 

"I was doing everything to run from it. I thought, ‘I’m not going to make it very far if I don’t do something’. I either reach out to One in Four, or I don’t and probably will end up taking my own life.”

Jack Fitzgerald: "“I was really struggling. And I was at the point where I thought, ‘I actually don’t think I’m going to make it much longer’. I was in this cycle of super, super highs and super, super lows." Picture: Moya Nolan

Calling One in Four that day was when he began to deal with the trauma.

After two years in counselling, where he finally confronted his past, he was ready to move on to the next phase of his life.

Fitzgerald has long been in to fitness. “I was always running and playing football. I was very active.”

Now a fitness coach and personal trainer, he says he “loves being outside and getting that positive energy that comes with hiking and swimming outdoors.

“I used to look at people who had come through [a difficult time], and then go and do something like running an ultra marathon and think, ‘You’re mad’, but I get it now. I’m so grateful to have this strong body, and I want to celebrate it while helping other people at the same time.”

As part of his seven peaks challenge, he will climb Caherconree in Co Kerry. This is symbolic for Fitzgerald, who used to look at that peak as a child. He’ll also climb Mount Brandon, Mangerton, Galtee Mor, Mullaghcleevaun, Lugnaquilla, and end with Carrauntoohil.

He will be joined on his climbs by friends, family, and his gym community from Naas, Kildare, where he lives.

“I feel very supported by my family, friends, my partner, and my community. It’s been amazing. But I know that not everyone has that.

I’ve been asking people who aren’t survivors to get involved, because, in many cases, survivors may not feel comfortable talking to people about their experiences, but seeing so many people doing this challenge with me, it might help them to see that people care.”

• See mountainsofchange.ie
• If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please see www.irishexaminer.com/helplines for a list of support services