Are you always late? There could be a very good reason

"If the internet is to be believed, anecdotally, the Irish are fairly relaxed about time both at work and socially - while that might be true to an extent, you will probably never find out and that’s down to another unique Irish quirk - being polite to your face while fuming on the inside."

Right on time: Are Irish people naturally tardy?

All of us have that special someone in our lives who seems to want to test the limits of our relationship with them by turning up late. 

Whether it’s five, 10, 15, 20 minutes, or a whole two hours (you know who you are), they can’t seem to turn up on time. 

Infuriatingly, they might even wear their tardiness as a badge of honour, as a trait that sets them apart from all the other punctual bores scurrying from A to Z in the great rat race.

“In a very general sense punctual people are quite organised in their daily routines,” says Peadar Maxwell, Chartered Psychologist. 

“They set alarms, set bedtimes, plan meals as well as family and work responsibilities. Those of us who are frequently late tend to be more disorganised, laissez-faire, or maybe even have an oppositional streak in us and want to exert some control.” 

While we can maybe recognise those traits in our punctual pals and tardy chums, there are sometimes underlying reasons for people’s predilection to lateness.

“Some people who are labelled as tardy might have obstacles that get in the way such as childcare needs, transport difficulties, or even an attention deficit such as ADHD,” says Peadar. “For some people arriving at the beginning of a social event is stressful. They would rather arrive at a larger group or an established conversation. Paradoxically, the same people might find being late to a work meeting just as anxiety-inducing. For some people, it really depends on the situation they find themselves facing.” 

Then of course there is cultural bias. A Global Attitudes Toward Work Report conducted in 2016 by Qualtircs found that being on time is not as important to the Irish as other countries, with only 41.2% regarding it as being ‘extremely or very important’. That was just a few percentage points ahead of the infamously laid-back Italians with 38.6% while at the other end of the spectrum, the Swedes (67.3%) followed by Germans (66.7%) placed the most emphasis on punctuality.

Peadar Maxwell, senior psychologist from Wexford. Pic: Patrick Browne

If the internet is to be believed, anecdotally, the Irish are fairly relaxed about time both at work and socially. According to one site, culturalatlas.sbs.com.au, “the Irish are relatively flexible with their time, so it is generally acceptable to arrive 15 minutes after the designated time”. 

While that might be true to an extent, you will probably never find out and that’s down to another unique Irish quirk - being polite to your face while fuming on the inside.

“Internationally, we are a mixed bunch,” says Peadar. “In work, we are at the more punctual end of the spectrum along with other western and northern Europeans. We tend to be relaxed when meeting up as a group at informal events such as a pub meet-up but more punctual when we have been invited to a sit-down dinner. Irish people tend to appreciate the work cooking a meal takes and are respectful about being on time for a hot meal. 

"Even in the workplace, some people in Ireland will not say much when a colleague is late but tardiness is held in low regard as not being a team player, showing your team or boss disrespect, or not quite being up to the task. If you have fallen into that habit and you have not received flak about your behaviour this doesn’t mean colleagues have not lowered their expectations of you as a worker.” 

And it seems that while Irish people might be laid back about lateness, their patience only goes so far. While the aforementioned Qualtrics survey found us to be relatively easygoing on lateness. In 2018, recruitment website, Jobs.ie, found that almost half (46%) of workers feel resentful of a colleague who is consistently late.

The survey showed that by and large Irish workers are punctual with 96% of all employees saying that they always arrive to work on time and well over half (59%) aiming to be at work at least 15 minutes ahead of their scheduled start time. No doubt they are motivated by the fact that a quarter of employers surveyed had fired people for persistent tardiness.

So what is to be done with serial offenders, at least the ones closest to us?

“When someone’s lateness crosses over to plain rudeness, be honest,” says Peadar. “Sitting in a restaurant or pub on your own can be uncomfortable. Let your friend know you understand the difficulties around arranging a babysitter or transport but if it becomes a constant, tell them how you feel. Don’t just take it as if it is a normal thing. I think we facilitate the myth that we are uber-relaxed about timekeeping when in fact we get annoyed but just don’t say anything. 

"The impression of being a bit disorganised lingers for the consistently late despite not much being said. I’d rather the Dutch approach of letting someone know it is not okay rather than private eye-rolling and grudge-holding.” 

Tips for the tardy

• Try to set some goals such as setting a repeat alarm or leaving a few minutes early.
• If you find you get distracted and lose your sense of time, prepare first then relax, you’ll be ready when the time comes.
• Remember you are not just punishing those whose time you have wasted but you might be making yourself look incompetent.
• If you have real reasons for being late, share them with your friends or your line manager, so that they know you are not just being rude.