Back of the net: Men's Sheds, teamwork, and the end of 'man up' mentality
12th February 2023 XX: Noel Baker : Ciara McDonnell : men's health in Weekend Clonakilty United's Tony O'Connell in action against Baltimore Crabs. Picture; Eddie O'Hare
It's into the second half in a Championship Cup quarter-final and with Clonakilty United one-down at home to Aultagh Celtic and about to take a corner, geology intervenes. Amid the crashing and banging of Sunday morning soccer, a small rock has been uncovered in the penalty area. Strikers become groundsmen, the offending article is tossed to one side and a few chunks of turf are jammed into the hole. The joys.
For recently-formed Clonakilty United, it's a minor obstacle on their cult-club-in-the-making journey. Their oldest player is just 23, their kit is modelled on that of south London outfit Dulwich Hamlet, and their sponsor really catches the eye - the Movember moustache, resplendent in pink. It is a visual representation of the team's ethos, a focus on both physical and mental health, driven by their own experiences as young people emerging from a pandemic, dealing with all life can throw at you.
For manager and founder Craig McDermott, 21, his simple idea to form a new club has grown legs. The very first training sessions immediately focussed on the bigger picture.
"I just wanted to push them, to give them that little nudge to start talking about how they’re feeling," he recalls. "The first night, the six of us, we had training for an hour and then spent about 25 minutes after right here talking about how much we enjoyed it and that it’s our little project and that is the main thing."
The motto sums it up - "It's time to be United - the first and last thing we say every match."
According to attacker Dean Harte, most of the squad grew up together, attending Clonakilty Community College. At an age when people are scattered all over due to college and work, the club has drawn them back together.
"I suppose loads of lads played together underage and nobody played with each other for a couple of years," he says. "Then during Covid nobody gets to see each other anyway, so we said we might as well do something with our time."
For him and teammates, such as Jamie Santry, Brian White, David O'Sullivan and keeper Eoin McKennedy, the matches provide focus during the week, with training sessions in Cork city where many of the team are based. Clonakilty already had the thriving Clonakilty AFC, but United offered something different. According to Jamie: "It's more than just a kit, especially being sponsored by Movember, where their priority is male mental health.
"After Covid, nobody was looking forward to doing anything, no one was excited so that definitely messed up a lot of people. Doing this now it brings everybody together and lets them look forward to things, and that makes a massive difference, especially for young lads."
Plus, they're getting results. The team is on a winning streak, something threatened by Aultagh's resolute defending and the ever-present danger of conceding on a counter-attack. But then, with five minutes to go, O'Sullivan bundles in an equaliser. It's going to extra time...
Ben Dolan, communications officer with Mens Sheds Ireland, loves what he's hearing about Clonakilty United. "That is a fantastic innovation," he says - and he should know. Mens Sheds have grown their own membership to an estimated 12,000 people in some 400 odd sheds throughout the island. The pandemic did have a negative impact and Ben acknowledges that some have yet to fully re-engage, yet at the same time, other sheds are coming on stream and, in some sheds at least, the age profile is getting younger.
In the Kinsale Mens Shed, coordinator John O'Connor - "I'm only 73" - can provide an example. The Well sees the Mens Shed, the local youth centre and the youth support services all under one roof on the same premises. According to John, "you meet different people from different walks of life". And there is a potential secondary benefit: "What we are after is all their people [those attending the youth services] might go home and might say to their father, 'why don’t you go down to the mens shed?'"
For Ben Dolan, that is the aim. "The older members bring something, the younger members bring a different thing," he says. The range of activities in sheds now is mind-boggling, incorporating walks, choirs, book clubs and more, yet at the root of everything is providing a space and an environment where people can feel comfortable sharing as much, or as little, as they like about how they are feeling.
"It is not an easy thing to put yourself out of your comfort zone and found a new thing like a shed, so we encourage people to bring people with them, almost do a buddy system," Ben explains ."Practically it is members going there is a fella who might be going through something and maybe he could just do with getting out and they are bringing him along."
The need is there. Last September a report by the Central Statistics Office showed that suicide was the biggest killer of young men aged under 25 in the country. The waiting lists for access to CAMHS and Jigsaw tell a story of some people seeing initial mental health difficulties escalating to a more serious level. And even as the stigma around mental health has fallen away, there are still some flag bearers for the outdated 'man up' mentality. For Mark Smyth, a past president of the Psychological Society of Ireland and the Clinical lead for Rugby Players Ireland, "we have a long history of 'you’ll be grand', 'suck it up there and you’ll be alright' - dismissing the validity of the emotional experience.
"Sometimes all people need is someone to listen to them, and validating them. It does not need a psychologist to do that, that can be anybody."
Mark believes we have some way to go in Ireland regarding mental health literacy, as well as ensuring that the resources are there when and where people need them. He sees private insurers - ever mindful of the bottom line - as leading the way in providing for private therapies at an earlier stage for people, rather than having to cover thousands in in-patient fees down the road.
"It can be very hard for someone to take that step - 'ok I am going to seek help'," he says. "But then they are hit with headlines about one-to-two years on waiting lists. They then go 'I can’t wait that long' or they start looking for people and the waiting list is closed. And they go 'OK, they told me to talk but who is there to listen?'
Barriers are coming down. There is a Mens Shed in the Training Unit in Mountjoy. Mark says 'Unspoken', a documentary screened on RTÉ, helped to demystify eating disorders among Irish men, and he believes sport, like other social outlets, can be a vital support. He refers to his role with Rugby Players Ireland - "there is a mental health wellbeing service that I run for them and it’s been really assisted by the 'Tackle your feelings' campaign that was really set up to help players and that has now been extended to schools," he says.
"Rugby would have a big strong man macho image, yet you have some of these guys, well over 6 ft tall, built like tanks, talking about loss and grief and anxiety, and normalising it."
Of course, you don't have to look for too long to find toxic views online. Ben Dolan believes the "extremes are highly visible", but he also sees a greater confidence among members of Mens Sheds to go the other way, to be more open and prepared to disclose their feelings - something he feels was best illustrated in a recent 'Where is my mind?' podcast by Niall Breslin involving the Shed in Dublin's Ballybrack. And for Mark Smyth, someone like Dublin footballer Shane Carthy, who was open about his experiences with depression "counteract the stereotypes"; mainly, he says, because they are "more relatable".
In sport, maybe there are few things more relatable than a muck and bullets Sunday morning match. Now level with Aultagh and with extra-time looming, Clonakilty United go down to 10 men, fullback Liam Edwards receiving two yellow cards in swift succession. But doughty as they are at the back, it's Aultagh who seem to be hanging on. Into extra-time they bring on a new keeper, switching their regular number one to full-back. And then we're down to penalties.
"Get the mind games going now, Kenno!" is the shout to keeper Eoin McKennedy. The first Aultagh kick goes in. "You've got the next one!" someone booms out. "I know!" McKennedy replies with a smile. The kicks from both teams keep flying in - except Aultagh's second, which grazes the bar and goes over. Harry Oates, an extra-time substitute, slots the winner for United. Scenes, including a chorus of "Ole, ole ole ole!"
For manager Craig McDermott, the man behind the West-Cork-club-you-didn't-know-you-needed, it is that camaraderie which helped his side over the line.
"It is friendships I think we would have lost pre-Covid,' he says. "Obviously because we are all the same age range, and at a stage of life with people in college and living in different areas of the world, this is one year where it has brought all of us together again.
"Before the penalties I said win or lose, we are all here on a Sunday and to enjoy ourselves. That is the main thing here."
They march on. The season is young yet.
CONNECT WITH US TODAY
Be the first to know the latest news and updates
Celebrating 25 years of health and wellbeing
