'We need a cultural shift': Gerry Hussey's six simple steps to happiness in 2022
Gerry Hussey and his wife, Miriam Kerins who is also a wellness coach. Photo: Nina Val
In a world that feels like a rollercoaster you didn’t buy a ticket for, planning to be happy in 2022 sometimes feels like a futile exercise. How is it possible to plan anything, never mind happiness in a world that feels so out of control?
Gerry Hussey is a motivational author and coach – his first, and now best-selling book Awaken the Power Within, went straight to number 1 on the Irish bestseller list when it was published this year. And now it’s about to catapult him on to the world stage. He has signed a new deal with the publisher of some of the world’s best known wellness stars.
Working with his wife, wellness coach Miriam Kerins, they believe that we can all be happy in the new year, we just need to look inwards to achieve it.
“I think, and hope, that the biggest thing that we’ve learned over the last two years is that we have far greater control of our own health and wellbeing than we thought. If you want to be happy, you need to focus less on the outside world and take responsibility for your own health and happiness. You must find things you can do to help calm your mind, to help settle and calm your central nervous system. Ask yourself what you’re doing to boost your immune system? What are the foods you’re choosing to eat?
"For me, it’s about personal responsibility and focusing a little bit more on the inside world because we have so much power on the inside.
“When we embrace that concept, we actually get to choose how we feel. It’s not saying that we don’t feel negative, we don’t feel angry. I feel all those emotions. To be human is to feel the full spectrum of human emotions. I feel every emotion. I feel scared. Somedays, I feel angry, but I have the awareness to recognise that I’m now entering a state of anger or a state of judgment. I have the awareness to say, stop, breathe, and have a simple tool to change that.”
People often tell Gerry that they don’t have time to focus on themselves or meditate or even sit in silence, but he says that you don’t need a huge amount of time to make a big difference in your life.
“I know that time is a commodity, but some of the things I do only take 15 minutes a day. Fifteen minutes is just 1% of your time. That’s all it is. Why do I choose to give myself 1%? Because I believe that it’s not just for me but for my little boy who needs a healthy dad, a dad who believes in himself, a dad that’s present.
"My little boy deserves to live in a home environment that’s not full of stress and chaos. As my little boy grows up, I want to be there for him. If I’m to be there when he’s 15 and 21 and getting married, then I better do something to help me be there. That’s 15 minutes a day.
“If you ask people about the three most important things in their lives they’ll say straight away my health, my family, my marriage but what are the three things that take up most of your time? It’s not those three. So, we need to prioritise what’s important and that includes looking after ourselves. Take 15 minutes to meditate or stretch or breathe or journal. It will make a huge difference.”
There are people who will say, that’s all well and good for Gerry. It’s his business, he has to make time to do all those things, he’s not dealing with the school runs, working from home and everything else the pandemic has thrown at us.
“That’s all right for Gerry,” he says smiling. “Just so everyone knows, Gerry has moved house three times in the last two years. Gerry has a little baby that was born in the middle of lockdown. Gerry runs his own business with staff that he has to pay, that overnight was challenged to the core. Gerry has come from a place of being suicidal. Gerry lived with high anxiety for much of his young life until he decided he was going to do something different. Gerry is like everybody else.”
He believes that taking control of our happiness means changing the way we live our lives and the first thing we should do is break away from “the disease of distraction”. That means giving up the hours we spend mindlessly scrolling.
“From the moment we wake up, whether it’s a phone, or tablet, or something else we’re always looking outward, we’re always distracted. We have to learn to build in moments of non-distraction, so whether that’s waking up in the morning and not turning your phone on or going into a room where there’s no phone or no TV. Find moments of non-distraction, and just sit there.
“Don’t worry about meditating the ‘right way’, just start by finding the time to sit quietly. The first habit is carving out 15 minutes every morning. What you do with 15 minutes doesn’t really matter as long as you’re not on the phone, you’re not watching television, you’re not distracted.”
The second thing we need to do is to learn how to stop and rest. We are, Gerry says, addicted to busyness and that has to change.
“We have normalised stress, and we’ve actually normalised fatigue. Everybody you meet seems to be tired. Everybody seems to be living on coffee, but that doesn’t mean it’s normal. It just means it’s common.
“We’ve really attached our self-worth to productivity, we feel guilty if we say to someone, ‘I didn’t do anything today. I just stayed in bed and rested.’ That feels like a bad thing, but that’s not a bad thing. We need a cultural shift here. It’s okay if you say, ‘I’m not doing anything at the weekend. I’m just resting.’
“We think we would be judged for being lazy but we have to break idea because the body needs rest. Sleep is one of the most important things we can do for our health and wellbeing, and yet if I was to line up a hundred adults there and ask them if they thought they were sleeping enough they’d all say no. If we understood the long-term impact that’s having, we would all prioritise sleep more.”
Next Gerry says we need to look at the foods we’re eating and the exercise we’re taking.
“The three biggest killers in the world right now, and I’ve been saying this for 25 years, are processed food, stress and lack of exercise. Heart disease is one of the biggest killers in this country and we’re losing thousands of people each year to something that is preventable. Look at the foods we’re eating. Look at the habits that we’ve allowed to creep in. Do you go out for dinner and end up with three or four of you on a screen? Where are the moments of presence you build into your day? Where’s the exercise you take? Where do you ignite your soul? Is it sea swimming? Is it dancing? Is it yoga?”
Then Gerry says ask yourself where the fun in your life is?
"When was the last time you properly laughed? We know that most adults are sleep-deprived, but they’re also deprived of fun and laughter. Fun and laughter is what life is about because life is short. We have this myth that life is meant to be serious, life is hard, life is busy, and life is stressful. We’ve normalised all this, but life doesn’t have to be any of those things. You’re the only person that can say, ‘What makes me laugh? What makes me smile? Can I prioritise that?’"
Gerry says that being happy can be up to you. You need to look at the things that are exhausting and depleting you and make a change.
“It’s a choice. In the new year sit down with your partner or friend and ask each other if you’re living the life you dreamed of. If you’re happy? What could you change? What could make you a little bit happier?
"I’m not talking about sweeping changes. I don’t believe in sweeping changes. I believe in making one little change and sticking at that until you get it right, then make another change. When you have the right questions and you’re willing to do what makes you happy, then you realise that everything you need is inside.”
- Gerry’s live event Awaken the Power Within is in the National Concert Hall on February 22. www.nch.ie
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