Colman Noctor: The burden of being 'the good child'

Much like the perfect parent and the unicorn, the ‘perfect child’ does not exist 

Picture: iStock 

Working with children and teenagers over the past 24 years has taught me that, for the most part, there are two types of children, internalisers and externalisers. Typically, externalisers are demonstrative, wearing their heart on their sleeve, and are open about how they view different aspects of their lives. They are no strangers to slamming a door, demanding later curfews and acting out in terms of rule bending.

Internalisers, by contrast, are far less expressive. Instead, they reflect on or ruminate over their feelings in private. They rarely express their emotional discomfort or cause ‘trouble’ and are often remarkably obedient, compliant and described as 'good kids'.